Shanghai complex

In the middle of February of 2012, I moved my family to Yuyuan Road. There are many shabby old western houses, red brick walls and wooden stairs on this road. Usually there are several families living in a building, which share the kitchen and toilet. All kinds of clothes are covered with bamboo leaves at the window. There are many small shops on both sides of the road. A supermarket that is open 24 hours a day. Real estate intermediary companies, flower shops, clothing stores, banks. I walk on this road every morning. Go to Jing’an Temple to work by subway. I returned from this road again at dusk. I will buy drinks, bread and vegetables in the cloud supermarket, and then return with a full load. Cook in the public kitchen. The sound of TV came from other people’s room. The naughty cat ran out of the room, circling around me in the kitchen, meeping. The smell of the dishes overflows from the pot, and may spread to someone else’s room. In the room, turn on the TV and have dinner. In the spring of Shanghai, rainy days are constantly cloudy, and the rain outside can be heard all night. The house I live in now is in the deep alley. When I wake up in the morning, I can hear the sound of birds. The Peach Blossom Garden in the downtown area. I will walk in the sun when it is in good weather on weekends. From Yuyuan Road to Nanjing West Road. Stay in Jiuguang Department Store. There are a lot of shopkeepers there. They buy clothes with luxury brands. Leather bags, scarves, hats, perfumes and watches have similar expressions, or their eyes are wandering, or they are extremely excited. I just look at those expensive items in front of the counter. Those objects that are chased and used to show their identity and status. Once in a bad mood at dusk, I walked along Nanjing West Road to the Bund. The traffic lights which had waited for many times turned green all the way, and then crossed the zebra crossing with no expression. Walking for a long time makes my toes ache in my heart. But I still can’t bury the disappointment in my heart. When passing the pedestrian street, it was submerged in the trendy crowd. It seems to be no different from ordinary people in the crowd. However, I know that I suffer from deep depression. Temper will burst out for no reason. On the surface, it looks like a fool. The secret is hidden in my heart. Cannot words. When you are alone, you can’t help crying. I often suffer from insomnia. In the Bund, I see those old buildings standing. Gorgeous and decadent, full of desolation. I see the surging Huangpu River, opposite which are Jinmao Tower, Oriental Pearl TV Tower and uneven high-rise buildings, forming an urban landscape. The man I love, the man who loves me. Working in that Jinmao Mansion. I suddenly cried. Will his love, our love, be like the colorful lights on the Bund. After midnight, it will become desolate and desolate. I asked myself, what on earth does love grow? Is it just an illusion I gave myself? Or as Anne said, self-deception in the fall of emotion is only to satisfy the defective self. Where is my way out? I have been in Shanghai for enough time and get used to the gloom and rhythm here. Many people in the North cannot adapt to Shanghai. They feel that the sunshine is not enough and the air is too humid. Men in Shanghai are just like the weather in Shanghai. They are selfish in tenderness, and their feelings are not warm enough. I never like Shanghai men. Perhaps because there are flaws in my feelings, I need more powerful forces to bring me to a new world. But I like Shanghai, which is the city I am obsessed with, and I have a special complex for it. Different from the complex in modern girls’ hearts. Many of my friends like Shanghai. I know that they like the material feeling brought by this city. They like the gorgeous appearance of the city. And I am obsessed with the decadent atmosphere of this city. I often go out in railway stations, subways and bars. I observe everyone’s expression. They may haunt the upper class. Or a mistress kept by others, or a beggar on the street. With the same cold eyes. Mechanical-like pace. Regardless of the status, its essence is the same. Just a puppet manipulated by this society. Sometimes, such men or women will be found in the crowd. He (she) has a fresh look, advocates nature, and does not pursue material sense. Know your inner needs and do not blindly cater to the world. I know, such a person. Very rare. And there is loneliness that ordinary people cannot understand. They must have a very strong heart to resist the temptation of the outside world. Or they have severe depression. In a late night or morning, fall down a tall building or jump off the subway track. Or return to life. They are the few who are willing to follow their hearts among all Yunsheng. They will appear in my words. Late at night, I picked up Anne’s “Happy New Year”, and it looked like. She is a writer I like very much. However, I hope that one day I can stop reading her books. Similarly, I know that one day I will leave Shanghai. All the things that are obsessed with, only leaving is the ultimate redemption. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

Of the love Capitoline

The place where I live is located on the watershed of Jianghuai River, looking north to the hinterland of Central Plains, looking south to Jianghan Plain, which is located in the junction of the West of Dabie Mountain and the east of Tongbai Mountain. The mountains here are not high, but a little steep; The mountains here are not very magnificent, but also undulating. The mountains are winding and stretching, stretching east to west, stretching south to north. If you stand on the peak of a high mountain and look far away, you will see mountains of all sizes, high and low. Those mountains are either towering into the clouds, or winding and stretching. The mountain is connected with water, the water is next to the mountain, the ravines and valleys are dense and intermingled; The trees are overgrown and the green bamboos are widely distributed; The mountain roads are curved and ups and downs. Although there is no famous mountain scenery or strange scenery here, its scenery is also very eye-catching. In addition, it is also common for me to live in the mountains since I was young, or to walk alone or together, to walk and play in the mountains, and to experience the charm of the mountains. In fact, the small town I live in is also located at the foot of the mountain. That mountain is called horse village, which is named after the shape of a mountain like a leaping horse. Standing on the Pingfan of the small town, you can also see two big mountains: one is Laojun Mountain, and the other is Xianju top. Laojun Mountain is located at the junction of Hong’an, Dawu and Xin County. It is the first mountain in Hong’an. It is said that this mountain is the place where Taishang Laojun refined elixir, and the folk call the peak Laojun furnace. The top of Xianju is far away from Laojun Mountain and faces each other across the fan. Although it is not as high as Laojun Mountain, it is also said to be the place where Taoism left pearls in the South China Sea because of its abrupt and handsome peak and towering into the clouds, xue Gang in Tang Dynasty was famous for its training place. Others are like Tiantai Mountain, Triangle Mountain, Daxing village, ringing village, yangtianwo, footbath basin, xiaolaojun Mountain, Huangyang village, and further away there are Donggao Mountain, Xishan Mountain, sanclaw Mountain, Wuyue Mountain, Dajian mountain, xiaojian Mountain and so on are not far from the place where I live, and I often climb the peak to overlook. Another reason; The mountains here were once the main activity areas of the red 25th Army, the red 28th Army and the county Party committee of the eastern and northern Hubei province and the center of Luoli Jingguang. These mountains spread all over the footprints of the Red Army, many epic revolutionary stories were left. Only Laojunshan slept in Shen Zemin, the secretary of Hubei, Henan and Anhui Provincial Party Committee, Gui Buchan, the party representative of Hongyi division detachment and many other martyrs of the Red Army. Xu Xiangqian, Wu Huanxian, Gao Jingting, He Yaobang and so on had. Although the mountain is not a famous one, it is famous for its unique geographical location and special historical background. It remains in the annals of history and gives it magical connotation. I often go to the mountains for a walk. It is a great pleasure in my life to watch the mountain, find the scenery, find birds, listen to the sound of springs, pick the treasures of mountains and choose the fruits of mountains. Get up early in the morning, prepare enough dry food, take necessary daily necessities, move step by step to the deep of the mountain along the winding mountain road, and the more you enter the deep of the mountain, the more curved the road is, the narrower the cliff is, the more dangerous and steep it is. Sometimes there is no road at all, and you can walk by yourself. It makes you feel breathless and sweaty, and it is also fun. In the dense forest, look at the wild peach blossom in full bloom on the mountain, and feel the breath of spring; Look at the green bamboo forest, and taste the vitality of nature; The towering rocks, the rising cliffs, understand the ingenuity of nature’s uncanny skills; Watch the mountain spring falls, listen to the pleasant mountain sounds, follow the rhythm of nature, and appreciate the harmonious and quiet beauty of nature. The danger is amazing, and I am interested in it. In some places, the scenery is beautiful, simple and extremely beautiful, but few people know it, but no one gets involved in it. I went deep into it alone and felt a little afraid/worried in my heart, but the awe and surprise I felt after watching the scenery were always greater than the fear in my heart, and I still had endless aftertaste, fun infinite. Entering the mountain, you can’t avoid climbing the road. Climbing the road requires endurance and endurance. Don’t walk too fast or too slow. Stop and go, stop and go. The goal moves forward step by step. Keep your head forward, no matter how far the destination is, you should be determined and persistent. When reaching the top of the mountain, the excitement of transcending oneself arises spontaneously. When going down the mountain, I trotted all the way, feeling relaxed and happy. This is the joy of the winner. Only those who have experienced risks and paid sweat can experience the value of this pleasure. If you go deep into the valley, deep in the dense forest, deep in the forest, silent, don’t be too confused, don’t be too anxious, see the direction you should go, look for the direction of the road, or go up along the stream, or walk along the slope, while listening to the sound of birds, while exploring the path, I will always get to the source of the road. Although the process of finding the way was hard, the scene was wonderful with mountains and springs as companions and birds as interdependent. Exploring alone in the mountains is actually full of dangers. The steep slopes and roads on the mountain are slippery, and there are dangerous situations everywhere; There are thorns in the forest, which are also dangerous; The high cliffs and roads are steep, and once you slip a little, you will be worried about your life. Once when I was climbing, I attached a branch with my hand and it broke, so I slipped a long distance; Another time I was bounced by a branch and hurt my eyes, it took more than a week to recover. Go to the mountains, see the scenery, get close to the nature, and feel the beauty and magic of the nature. Your life will have more fun, enjoyment and aftertaste. Mountain has become a part of my life. I love it and like to go deep into it. While appreciating the natural scenery, I also form a tacit understanding and resonance with the nature. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

Feeling lonely

I often think that if there is an afterlife, if you can choose by yourself, let me make a tree. Watching people coming and going each day is busy. In the wind and rain, the scenery is different; In sunny days and snowy days, the elegant demeanour is different; The graceful posture of day and night is strange. Don’t be tired of worldly Fetters; Don’t be tired of worldly wisdom; Don’t be entangled with emotional grudge. The sun rises and sets, the moon is full and the moon is short, the stars are bright and the stars are dark, the flowers bloom and fall, and the leaves are yellow and green every year. As the annual rings gradually increase, the sky allows me to stretch, and the underground allows me to stretch. At ease and leisure, I laughed at the prosperous land, the bright land and the prosperous life. How fast indeed! Maybe I will meet the love of my previous life. On sunny days, I will be his sunshade cap, and on rainy days, I will be his rain-proof umbrella. Watch his spring, summer, autumn and winter, and feel his ups and downs. How lucky indeed! Or, I am the bird’s paradise. Groups of birds perched in my arms. When the first cloud in the sky rose, they sang cheerful songs to wake me up from the silence, In the evening, after the last gluttonous or playful bird came back, I hugged them with my broad mind, and touched them with the luxuriant branches and leaves. Watch them fall asleep sweetly. How beautiful! Some friends said that what’s good about trees? They are not cut into firewood. I said it would be better. I will leave light and heat in the world till death. How magnificent! I like walking alone in the rain. Listen to the sound of raindrops hitting the umbrella, which is either urgent or slow, light or heavy, or stops or starts. Seeing the beautiful water flowing at the moment when the rain fell and splashed, seeing the water mist rising after the car passing by drifting away with the wind, I especially like to see the flowers, plants and trees beside the road. In the late spring, it was the time when the new branches and young leaves were in full bloom. Under the washing of the rain, the clean, oily and shiny leaves made people unable to help touching it, loving it and kissing it. The Camellia of that tree was smiling happily and unrestrained in the spring rain. Tears of excitement hung on the petals. It swayed the wonderful figure for the breeze, and the breeze smiled at its bright face, fondle away its glittering tears. The heavier the rain is, the fewer pedestrians there are. I can not pretend to smile at others. I can face flowers with a sincere smile. I lingered in the rain, preferring the rain to be naughty like a child, which wet my pants sleeves and shoes and socks one after another. Often, a large group of new and old colleagues come home to get together. Some played cards, some did midnight snack, some watched TV, some chatted, of course, some robbed me of computers. I was begged to go to the card table by them. As long as someone took over, I went down to the throne immediately. It seemed that the bustle belonged to them, while I was just a spectator. More often, I prefer to stay quietly on the Internet, in my own space, whether reading or listening to songs, or simply in a daze. Everyone seemed to get used to and accept my abnormality. As long as I went back to the study, no matter online shopping, online chatting, or online games, I would always say to me: it will be fine soon. Although I will say you play, it doesn’t matter. I wandered in every room, trying my best to hide my anxiety. Watching them display their own skills to play and talk about all kinds of new things, they just think it has nothing to do with me. Sometimes under their consultation, I would also talk loudly, and there was no lack of humor and wit in the laughter. I don’t know why I am speechless when talking. Is it touching the hidden pain in my heart or disdain for trivial things? My audience will say anxiously, go on, how to say half a word. When did I become so unsociable? I like fishing floating bottles, so I made a group of friends. A bottle friend said: a person, a book, a cup of tea, a curtain of dreams. It makes me dementia for a long time! Yes, one person, one world, one book, one tea, one life, one dream, one life! He also said: One person is alone in the world, and one book is alone in happiness! My heart couldn’t help trembling, but I was still confused. What I do is like smoke and fog, ethereal, weird and lofty, but my inner passion is like fire, loyal and real. Holding a cup of fragrant tea in hand, I saw its tangled mist disappearing in front of my eyes. The faint fragrance penetrated into my heart, and the bitter smell lingered on my tongue. Days of rainy weather make people helpless and have many distractions. Suddenly a stranger asked me what I was doing? I said I was writing something. What about you? The other party told me that I was drinking idle tea. See if you are holding a cup of tea? What an idle tea! Suddenly I understood: the leisure and romantic feelings of the other party met and collided with my lonely and wandering soul! I have always known that I am not lonely, because I don’t feel empty. I love my job. I am not isolated either. There are a group of friends and colleagues who like me, and I also like them. I am loneliness in the soul! A cup of idle tea, I know I am not alone, a cup of idle tea, I know I am no longer lonely! Whenever the night is quiet, we listen to the same song and are moved by the same lyrics. No longer tapping the keyboard with both hands, but holding a cup of hot tea. At this time, silence is better than sound. Thinking about it, being lonely is actually good. You can let your thoughts fly in the air, be unrestrained and unconstrained, wander outside the emotional world, and understand the plain happiness of life enthusiastically. Like (prose editor: prose online) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

We missed the time

The vow you once made has not been fulfilled yet, and at this time, who are you talking about your grace. I still remember that I was not a person who could let go at will. I remember all the things and people that moved me. Memories are deeply immersed in the quicksand of time, but I still can’t help grasping the time we spent together. There are happiness, sadness, sadness and imagination. You said you liked counting stars in the night sky, muttering one on one side, one on the other side, and one missing on the other side. And I always look at you foolishly until the night falls and even stars are tired. Hearing this, the sound of tears passing through my mouth gradually turned into fragments of memory, rising up with the autumn wind. Oh. I smile. I know I have many bad problems, and I have made you feel terrible for countless times. But I have been making rare changes in the time you forget. Maybe you don’t remember it, or maybe you remember it but forget it. I hope this is the second explanation, although it is not the answer I want. But I know that we tried to become the beauty in each other’s eyes, so let the oath add a shackle to that beauty, but they ignore that each other’s inner heart is the strongest fortress. What can I do when I think of it? Prose index.html You said we were still best friends. However, I stubbornly believe that the term friend is just a cover for the virtual emotion shown by my inner fragility. There is a kind of touch that cannot be given by friends, and we have never experienced that kind of frustration. All right, write down a bunch of words. But I can’t write any more. Tired? Tired? The maple leaves everywhere hurt my eyes, but I couldn’t help praying for it to drift away with the wind and bring my missing to you by the way. We missed the time and also missed forever. Then let the memory freeze the feeling, and the unconscious sight begins to change again. Like (prose editor: prose online) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…