Distance

Two years ago, when someone left me, he said to me with anxiety: Don’t impose your will on others too strongly in the future. Otherwise, you will eventually hurt yourself. Because, no one will really understand your original intention of doing this. At that time, those who hadn’t experienced many worldly affairs I am frivolous: I thought that in this world, most people would know me, tolerate me and forgive me like her. Therefore, I didn’t approve of her worries at that time. Now it seems that I am still wrong. Finally, I realized that in that year, that month, that day, that moment, the sadness flowing in her eyes at the moment she turned around. After years, a person came over day by day in pretending numbness. It is not a long journey, sometimes I suddenly feel that the extension is very long and very long. I suddenly feel that I have been away for a long time. I thought that my heart had died in the depth of a certain corner of time. I thought that I would go on in the silence of forgetting like this until the world of a person is old. Now it seems that I still see myself too much. When the Sky in April turned into a gourd of deep blue lake water, how I wish a drop of tears could turn into tears in my heart, dropping on the eyebrows of the past, unlocking my dusty heart knot and stopping my heart. On the day when the North wild goose flew south, after I beat my unbearable heart back to my original shape, I chose to be a wolf roaring in the wilderness. The vast wild land licks the wound; Under the Cold Moon, raise your head and howl. No longer expect any warmth belonging to me, no longer linger on any beautiful scenery. However, some things are still stubborn but not the arrangement of nature. Like fate, there are some things that cannot be escaped or caught. Accustomed to indifference and hardness, it still cannot eradicate the fragility and sensitivity in the bottom of my heart. Inadvertently, the past will suddenly fly around the eyebrows, thinking of some people, some things, some feelings, and always fall into the confusion and sadness that cannot be pulled out. Then, it will be depressed, decadent and degenerate. On the surface, it seems that life is boiling with blood every day. In fact, it is often in a kind of confusion and struggle that cannot be awakened. Most of the time, I can’t figure out which on Earth I am! In recent days, I have buried all my thoughts into my work. Although many states are muddled, I still urge myself to be more busy and more busy every day. Perhaps, only in this way can we experience a moment of peace and tranquility. However, after all, people are social people. Each of our living conditions will directly or indirectly affect others. Seeing that the work of the two new colleagues I worked with didn’t improve a lot, I got angry and criticized them from time to time. I thought it was a matter of course. In the end, I found that I thought it was too selfish and overbearing. They flattered me to call me teacher. In fact, I was always scared. Because, I was really worried that my junior teacher could not be a senior student, and I failed to live up to the name of this noble teacher. So, extremes meet. Sometimes I would impose my will on them. I began to pick their faults. I began to put pressure on them, and I began to force them to run out cruelly. I think this is responsible for them. However, I still ignored their feelings. After all, they just walked out of school, a little timid and confused. Perhaps, they have worked hard, and what qualifications do I have to put pressure on them? The most hateful thing is that yesterday I actually taught them how to plan their daily work. Everyone has their own different lifestyles and working styles. What qualifications do I have to point out? When I went home at night, I suddenly remembered the scene that they worked silently after being criticized in the afternoon when I was half drunk and half awake, and I felt very uncomfortable. I always feel that what I said during the day is heavier. In addition, I felt inexplicable headache and could not fall asleep after half a night. I regretted that I didn’t know how serious it was during the day. Finally, they entered the dream in a daze, only to find that they hated me so much that they ignored me. The dream is so, I still don’t know what the reality is! Those who know me call me worry; Those who don’t know me call me what to ask? Life is originally a lonely walk between heaven and earth. If you learn and know how cold and warm you are, you may be tired of your heart and walk to the farther distance freely. Since we are often unable to perceive what others think, why should we stubbornly and arbitrarily impose some of our will on others? In this world, people often need to accept despair in the farthest beauty, and then pursue hope in the deepest despair. That’s it. None of us can reverse it. Many mistakes cannot be turned back once they happen. I think what I need to confess is not only yesterday. They are not the only people I have mentioned. Whether it is hateful or hateful, no matter what kind of person I am in their hearts, these are not important. What’s important is that I hope all the people who have passed by me can see the beauty they love as they wish. As for myself, I won’t expect anyone who hates me to forgive me and understand me. Born as a wild goose flying alone, you should accept the unbearable weight without hesitation. I hope that after today, I will not be anyone’s teacher any more. Let’s be colleagues and like-minded friends. Once someone asked me, if life really had reincarnation, why would I be willing to reincarnated? At that time, I replied that I was willing to be a white bird with a wisp of warmth in the world and fly in Tagore’s poems, but there was no need to leave the trace of wings in the sky. Think about it today, let’s make a stone from a distant mountain. Mountains, warm without tell, just cold meditation, hope ba qian li from clouds and months.

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