qiu cheng

(1) Autumn city is not the city of autumn. It is not necessary to understand in this way. I think I just choose a suitable name for the place where the story happened. You don’t have to look for this place on the map. It’s just a proxy name, and you don’t have to worry about it. After leaving that place, I seemed to lose something in my heart. I was at a loss every day, just trying my best to find something that could comfort my heart. I think I failed. I finally didn’t find it. I didn’t find any medicine to pacify my soul, nor did I find anything I lost. However, that’s it. This feeling of emptiness filled my heart and filled my mind, which made me feel that I was still alive. I am alive, laughing bitterly. Facing myself in the mirror everyday, I always feel strange and horrible. Then, is it myself? I asked myself in the mirror like this, but I didn’t get the desired answer. Silence always avoids my questions with silence. I had to pretend my ignorance with silence. The figure wandering between sleeping and waking up brings some loneliness and loneliness. No intersection, no social engagement. Just facing the mirror or the sky through the window. There is no melancholy or sadness in my heart. It seemed that the melancholy and sadness at this moment were not worth mentioning. I gently swept them down with the afterglow of my eyes, and no longer touched them. For a period of time, I doubted whether I had autism, which was so terrible that I locked myself in a room and wouldn’t easily contact with the crowd. The only thing I am familiar with is the sound of the pointer jumping on the ear and the sky outside the window that I have watched for more than a hundred times. Even if you go out occasionally, you still face the passers-by with silence. In the crowd of people coming and going, I felt that kind of unsociable poisonous wine more. When I was drunk in it, I shouted that I would come again before I was drunk. Unexpectedly fell in love with that kind of feeling, after losing the ability of love. A person’s life, a person’s loneliness, self-drinking, self-entertainment. Go to a strange stop without planning in advance, and then just look for a position near the window, sitting foolishly. Don’t talk with strangers. His side face turned outward, and he kept silent all the way, thinking about something that he couldn’t remember. His unrestrained and unconstrained thoughts brought his consciousness to the sky. After waking up in a panic, I realized that there was only myself sitting there persistently in the empty car. He left calmly with a calm look. The illusion that my mind is still immersed in that car. I like that feeling and enjoy it in my spare time just to feel the peace along the way. Waste the leisure time on those strange roads. Even though I had traveled many times on that road, it was still strange and horrible. I forgot to say that the place I left was not Qiu Cheng, and Qiu Cheng was the place I went to later. The place I mentioned was an institution built on the hillside. I forgot when I entered it, but I vaguely remembered that it was in a summer when the weather was hot, sweat flowed through my eyelashes and into my eyes. It was such a hot season. When I left there, I didn’t remember or think about it. I just vaguely felt that I lost a lot of things there. Yes, it is something, physical, ethereal. I can’t remember what I lost any more. I just saw some people laughing and some crying. I just felt puzzled. I don’t think there is anything funny or crying. I just wanted to leave there as soon as possible, but when I hurried out of the door, at that moment, my heart was confused. I quietly raised my head and glanced at the words on the door. Those words were so dazzling, but the sunshine was very dazzling. Those words were indeed more dazzling than the sunshine, which hurt my eyes. I lowered my head in panic, pretending to be looking for something, I am afraid that someone will see my embarrassment. However, I stopped pretending for a moment, because I knew no one would know me, even if I recognized him? Anyway, who knows where to be next moment. Only those words became more and more blurred. Vaguely, just remember the following words. XX sanatorium may be like this, then think so for the moment. As for what the place was for, I probably didn’t remember. My life was always in a daze, but I just remembered that I had several friends there. Friends? Yes, I have friends there. Other things, I don’t know, there seems to be some cold eyes, indifferent snobbish heart. I don’t remember the environment there very much. The only thing I remember is that when it was snowing, the road was covered with snowflakes, and the vast white one seemed so cold and quiet on that hillside. This is the image left to me there. (Ii) The days of leaving the ice city passed quickly. I soon forgot where I am came back. In a period of leisure time, I was confused and sober. In short, I kissed a fresh little day. Soon it was the time when Ye Huang fell down. I decided not to be so idle anymore. I had to do something so that I wouldn’t think about it and get mentally disordered. I was very afraid of those days. Although I was not very clear at that time, I also had my own sorrow. Now think about it, it is good to be a normal person. No longer like a bird locked in a cage, I have the right to freedom, freedom, Long live freedom. Just when I decided to leave for a period of time, I soon left and went to autumn city. Autumn city is a famous city, located in coastal areas, with developed economy, and is a very international metropolis. I didn’t know that I was like a bird, flying from one cage to another, but that Cage was big enough. I can’t find it. Taking a coach, I traveled through several provinces and cities and spent a long night. I didn’t fall asleep in the coach. The excitement in my heart made my nerves in a tense state all the time. I just looked out of the window at the passing lights, trance in the dark night, as if passing through the fairytale country. The city outside the window, thousands of lights, my eyes left a mark without trace on the highway like the night. I sat still for a long time and felt a little uncomfortable. I kept changing my sitting posture. In order to adapt to this situation, my eyes are still watching by the window. There was no bright moon in the night sky, so I couldn’t help feeling sad and hid. There are only some stars shining slightly in the sky. At the very beginning of the day, I have entered the province where the destination is located. I don’t know whether the weather here was originally like this, or whether it was cloudy when I came, with slight mist and haze in the air. It was drizzling, and it looked endless. I just looked out of the window at the house that I had seen in the picture, which was surprisingly white walls and green tiles, and the typical water village buildings, which gave people a dream-like illusion. More reserved and charming in this light rain. I lost my way here, and I didn’t know which direction the car was going. I didn’t care so much. I looked out of the window blindly, hoping to see a beautiful girl with an umbrella. I didn’t know why. In short, I didn’t meet I am, which made me somewhat disappointed. The car shuttles back and forth in this city, passing through the bustling downtown area and seeing more people, which is still not as beautiful as expected, but only some tall buildings. I am not surprised any more than some novelty. After a long night’s running, I felt a little tired and sleepy. I took a nap and missed something. When I woke up again, I was already close to my destination. Got off the car and paused. The strange breath came towards me, a little startled. As the peers walked into that company, the next day was short-term training. After a few days of idleness, they entered the workshop. On a boring day, I walked under my feet nervously and orderly. If you are happy, you will also be criticized. In short, it is a trivial matter. I am used to the hustle and bustle and the worldly wisdom. I began to look for beautiful eyes after those troubles. Yes, I was just looking for a pair of eyes that were clear to my heart, but I became cautious in pairs of eyes. I can’t tell the feeling that I want to kill you at that moment. I will always be scared by being stared. Fortunately, I am found a pair of familiar eyes. Although I didn’t know her, the so-called understanding was only known later. She was not as beautiful as flowers and moon, but she quietly planted a seed of missing in my heart. So that for a long time later, I was in a kind of self-entanglement. The so-called entanglement was just wishful thinking, and finally it turned into memory between that smile. After all, there is no news. So young miss, like a joke, made a beak between partners after dinner. I was still like a familiar and unfamiliar friend passing her every day, and I would be complacent if I got a smile response occasionally. I am like a child who is not familiar with the world. I was so naive that I thought everything would be good. So silly, so naive. There is a entanglement between those things that are not matters, thinking about the quietness of a certain moment. During the period of time, I would also go around with my friends. Walking among the crowd, I would find those long-lost feelings, which seemed to never be forgotten. Therefore, I kept looking around, looking at the surrounding scenery and thinking about some information that came from somewhere without any clue. It seems to be looking for a certain feeling, which is consistent with a certain moment in the dark. I will forget everything at that moment and know nothing. However, there was a special feeling that someone whispered softly in my ears. Tell some very distant things. On the bank of the river, there are always some idle people walking there, maybe they are really idle. I am think like this, seeing foreigners passing by in front of them will not feel strange or novel. I don’t think there is any difference, they are all the same. Sometimes I wonder if I really have something different. Walking like this, walking without purpose, sitting casually when tired, it seems to be very calm, but it is depressed deep entanglement in the inner heart. (3) it seldom snows in winter in autumn city, but it fell several times during the days I stayed. I feel very surprised. Fortunately, the workshop is still warm. I will still see her and her smile. Although I am not laughing for me, I will still feel surprised. She has an ordinary name called Xiaoli. After all, I didn’t walk into her world. At the moment when I was rejected, I didn’t think so anymore. But her appearance was deeply and shallow in her heart. After all, I left in a hurry after a period of peace. When she heard that I was going to leave, she talked to me. I just responded to her lightly that I was going to leave. I really left on the third day. There is a text message on my mobile phone. Liang Sheng, have a pleasant journey, I hope you are happy. I was in a panic, and finally I simply replied to the information. You too, I will think of you. There are also several short messages. The car on the return trip was walking in the night again. I like this color. Like rain, like dark. Was my previous life a Orchid parasitic in the bosom of that tree? The light passed over my expressionless face. I knew this moment clearly. I was melancholy. The weather in the North is bitterly cold in winter. I shivered in the cold wind. Think about some warm things. After all, I think it’s a little simple. I miss the time before, that was in that nursing home. Although life was in a daze, there were still a group of similar people who were at peace with each other and had fantasies of each other in their own Sky. Yes, it is fantasy, and it is children immersed in their own world who can’t find a way out. There, looking for the dawn of hope, fortunately, I came out, after I found myself again. In my opinion, love is the spark in the constant search. People who live are finding each other in the crowd. Although I haven’t found her among the crowd, I will still meet her after all. During this period, there was a period of confusion, and almost fell to the previous situation. I was very scared, but helpless. I always couldn’t help thinking about something that I couldn’t say. In the days when I was at a loss, the nightmare feeling came again. That is, desolate and lonely. (4) in plain days, I am calm and have no mood, but I hope that I can live in the wind. I always look at the sky by accident. The winter sky is so depressed, and there are some light clouds floating in the pale sky. The sun shines faintly, and I hope for warmth. Liang Sheng, happy new year! Text messages always come when I am looking forward to no way to put them down. I opened them and read them. I was very calm and didn’t reply immediately. I don’t know why it is so, isn’t it waiting all the time. It turns out that when the future is unpredictable, the loss of reality will easily lay a person on the ground from the sky. I thought for a long time about the content of the reply. Finally, I simply said a happy new year. After the message was sent, I felt that it was my own passion again. I think too much. I think of an interesting sentence, what is it after the snow melts? It is spring after the snow melts. Maybe it is time that goes too fast, or I always can’t keep up with the pace of time. Anyway, spring is coming. Spring, one spring, I was doing some trivial things in a small factory. It seemed that I closed my senses and locked myself in the cage I set. I replied to the lonely figure before. It is the loneliness and autism in mind. In those days, it was ordinary and hard. I forgot what kind of person I was. I just became a small worker silently. It was a period of life in the bottom society, and the world of Nobody naturally had the happiness of nobody. I still look at the sky from time to time. At that moment, I no longer think of someone. Instead, I was intoxicated by myself in that taste of missing. I thought there was no one to miss. I thought no one would think of me again. I thought softly to a star, thinking about something like a dream. I feel the bitterness and joy, happiness and sadness in life. The ups and downs of melancholy ended what I called on the road when I was lying in a hospital and came to an end. Life was always unpredictable. I lay in the hospital for more than ten days, then went home and had a rest for more than two months. I thought a lot about life, but after all, my cognition was a little shallow. In those days of drifting away, there will always be some benefits that cannot be measured by money. I looked at the sky outside. I thought I would set off again. Next time, I don’t want to go to autumn city any more. I want to go to spring city.

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