Smiling Miss

Smiling and missing, family affection and love will be better continued. Inscription a few days ago, my mother called and told me that my granddaughter, who was popular in my hometown, went back home to sweep the tomb. The saying came out from somewhere that in leap years, the married granddaughter must buy abundant sacrifices to sweep grandparents’ graves before Tomb Sweeping. Only in this way can the family be blessed with safety. My mother told me that if I was free on weekends, I must go back to sweep my grandma’s tomb. I said I would try my best to go back, but not necessarily. Father grabbed the phone and said: don’t come back from a long distance. It’s all the old ladies in the countryside who are looking for trouble and thinking about it. Your mother also followed. Otherwise, I will go to sweep the tomb with your mother, and I will go for you. Although I was the same as my father and never believed that, my mother believed in Gods and Buddhas like her grandmother before. I remember when we were young, Grandma always prepared a table of sacrifices for every birthday and sacrifice day of our ancestors, burning paper and money at home to pray for the safety of our families. Seeing that the family was made into a mess, my brothers and I were extremely resistant. Of course, my father was also on our side. Fortunately, I can still bear it. Every time I worshiped, I stood far away, gloomily watching my brothers kneeling on the ground very reluctantly, burning paper money while enduring the smoky burning paper money. What made me more happy was that I could share those delicious sacrifices with my brothers afterwards. Our ancestors had a rule that when burning paper and money to pray, only men could do it, while women were absolutely not allowed to intervene. Among the men in the family, father didn’t care about Grandma’s behavior at all. Only his brothers dared not to disobey and obediently gave in. Every time when the brothers were smoked to tears and ran away, Grandma always seized the opportunity to catch them back, even coaxing them, making both soft and hard until the paper money turned into ashes and the ceremony ended. I remember once, my two younger brothers and I caught cicadas under the big tree behind the house. Just when we were having a good time, grandma came to urge her brothers to go home and burn paper money. They saw that Grandma didn’t call me, and their psychology was extremely unbalanced. They just didn’t listen and continued to play crazily. Grandma was so angry that she pulled up their small arms and ran towards the river, running and saying angrily: the reason why she gave birth to a grandson was to let Wang’s family continue the incense, and she was prosperous. Now I am not willing to do anything to pray for the safety of my family. What’s the use of having a grandson? Than in the river fish. Looking at Grandma’s bluff appearance, I snickered aside. I knew grandma was deliberately scaring people. The two younger brothers were so young and ignorant that they were so scared that they burst into tears that they dared not neglect any more. It was almost the weekend, thinking that if I didn’t go back to sweep my grandmother’s tomb, my mother would be upset and uneasy about it. Therefore, on Saturday, I managed to overcome difficulties and went home all the way. My mother saw me shivering with cold, and said distressed: drink some boiled water to warm my body. There is everything at home, I will prepare the sacrifice. Father stopped immediately: Stop! Don’t make any sacrifices. It’s so far away from the ancestral grave. It’s full of paths with sheep intestines and muddy. How can you carry seven bowls and eight plates of dishes? Just take a bundle of paper to burn it on the grave. Mother firmly disagreed with father’s proposal. I was worried that the two old men had a dispute and got angry in a hurry, so I hurried to round the scene: Anyway, I also came back. I got a few more dishes, with a little less quantity. They were all packed in fresh-keeping boxes, which was not too difficult. My father hesitated for a while, then retreated and said, “This is a good way. A box can hold three or four dishes, just like eating box lunch. Make your grandma fashionable once and eat fast food. Before I went to my ancestral grave, I took some more facial tissue on purpose. I was afraid that when I saw my grandmother’s grave, I would cry like a few years ago without control. I am my grandma, she is bigger than my mother. Before grandma passed away, I hadn’t returned to my hometown for more than three years. Until grandma passed away, I couldn’t go back to see her, which made her die unsatisfied. Therefore, I have been regretful. In the years after my grandmother passed away, I felt heartbroken and burst into tears every time I thought of my grandmother missing for nothing day and night and regretting for the whole life. On the way to the ancestral grave, my father carried a few reeds for Buddhism. My mother and I carried baskets full of sacrifices and paper money, walking while talking about the trifles of grandma’s death. I was like a little shadow of my grandmother since I was a child. No matter where my grandmother went, she followed her forever. My Sky was gloomy when my grandma was not at home. I am especially afraid of the loneliness when my grandma is not at home. Although I can’t go to visit relatives and friends with my grandma after going to school, I will try every means to prevent her from going out. I remembered that in the spring when I was in the fourth grade, my grandma dug a basket of cucumber seedlings and prepared to give them to my uncle’s home dozens of miles away. When she passed by the school, although she was already very cautious, I was still alert to find out. I rushed out of the classroom crazily, dragging my grandmother’s basket to prevent her from leaving. Grandma said all the good words, but I just didn’t listen. Seeing it was getting late, Grandma was anxious to find my class teacher to rescue the driver. I took the opportunity to throw a basket of melon seedlings into the roadside wheat field, thinking that my grandmother would give up going to my uncle’s house. When the head teacher forced me to cry into the office, Grandma was bending down to pick up the cucumber seedlings scattered in the field. Grandma’s back gradually disappeared from my eyes, and I also stopped crying desperately. All the teachers went to class. I stood alone in the office, bored. Suddenly I was worried about whether my crying just now would make my voice hoarse. So, I hummed the song gently and wanted to have a try. Just when I was glad that I didn’t cry, a teacher came in. He smiled and said: Ha ha, not bad, the rainstorm turned sunny. Just now, I cried loudly like a wild child. Now I even sang a song. My efforts failed, so my grandma went to my uncle’s house. Hearing me talking about this, my parents smiled and said: we were busy all day long at that time. How could we know these things? I said excitedly: there is something more exciting. That time was really a success. It was a summer dusk, and Grandma was in a hurry to go to her aunt’s house. My grandma couldn’t take me away because my younger brother was not looked after. She left secretly when I was addicted to my brother. Before long, I suddenly found that my grandma was gone, so I immediately picked up my younger brother and ran after the village. When seeing grandma’s figure from a distance, she had already crossed the big wooden bridge outside the village. I dare not walk alone on that swaying wooden bridge, let alone carrying my younger brother. I stood at the Bridge reluctantly, shouting loudly. Grandma turned around and glanced at me, hesitating to continue walking forward. In extreme disappointment, I burst into tears for a long time. Then, I decided to go home and try to vent. When I got home, I held my younger brother in one hand, picked up some broken bricks from the back of the house in the other hand, and put them under the mat on grandma’s bed. Thinking of my grandma being hurt when she came back to sleep tomorrow, I couldn’t help laughing proudly, as if I had reported my grandmother’s revenge for not taking me to my aunt’s house. I just finished the revenge action and sat comfortably on the threshold to play with my brother, but my grandma came back in a hurry. She sweated and worried. It turned out that grandma decided not to go to her aunt’s home on the halfway because she was not worried about my brother and me. When sleeping at night, Grandma found the broken bricks under the mat as soon as she went to bed and lay down. She said in a dilemma: it was all your little girl who made the movie Bad. With these words, I couldn’t help laughing again. My parents also laughed at my childhood jokes. Soon, we arrived at Grandma’s grave. My father renovated grandma’s grave years ago. Cement was laid in front of the grave and graves, and ready-made table was also built. We put the offerings in place. My father was burning paper money and setting off firecrackers, while I looked at Grandma’s tombstone, thinking about the interesting things of living with grandma, and couldn’t help laughing secretly. In the tomb-sweeping day when people want to break their souls on this road, on this special occasion where grief is expressed, I have no sadness at all. The facial tissue which was brought in advance to wipe tears could not be used, which I had never expected before. I once remembered that after my grandma passed away, I had waken up from my dreams countless times. Several years later, maybe the years have smoothed the scars in my heart. It is like a natural and unrestrained net, filtering out the sour and astringent in my memory, leaving only wisps of sweetness. Every bit of life with grandma is like shining pearls in life. No matter which one, it is a precious one, the only one. The road of life is extending forward, Those shining pearls were strung into a song of pure and beautiful memory, singing on the eve of Qingming Festival, and also on the road of my future life. Now I won’t cry any more. Tears are just a form, which does not necessarily mean true love. The true love is with deep miss and warmth in the smile. I will leave this warmth to my closest relatives and continue the chapter of love. On the way back, I was thinking that birth, aging, illness and death are natural laws. The diagnostic handbooks! It is meaningless to live in the shadow of losing relatives often. Living on, how to treat the living relatives well and make them healthy and safe is the most important thing. Not Crying does not mean forgetting. Although Grandma has already gone, she will always live in my heart. Smiling and missing, family affection and love will be better continued.

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