Feeling lonely

I often think that if there is an afterlife, if you can choose by yourself, let me make a tree. Watching people coming and going each day is busy. In the wind and rain, the scenery is different; In sunny days and snowy days, the elegant demeanour is different; The graceful posture of day and night is strange. Don’t be tired of worldly Fetters; Don’t be tired of worldly wisdom; Don’t be entangled with emotional grudge. The sun rises and sets, the moon is full and the moon is short, the stars are bright and the stars are dark, the flowers bloom and fall, and the leaves are yellow and green every year. As the annual rings gradually increase, the sky allows me to stretch, and the underground allows me to stretch. At ease and leisure, I laughed at the prosperous land, the bright land and the prosperous life. How fast indeed! Maybe I will meet the love of my previous life. On sunny days, I will be his sunshade cap, and on rainy days, I will be his rain-proof umbrella. Watch his spring, summer, autumn and winter, and feel his ups and downs. How lucky indeed! Or, I am the bird’s paradise. Groups of birds perched in my arms. When the first cloud in the sky rose, they sang cheerful songs to wake me up from the silence, In the evening, after the last gluttonous or playful bird came back, I hugged them with my broad mind, and touched them with the luxuriant branches and leaves. Watch them fall asleep sweetly. How beautiful! Some friends said that what’s good about trees? They are not cut into firewood. I said it would be better. I will leave light and heat in the world till death. How magnificent! I like walking alone in the rain. Listen to the sound of raindrops hitting the umbrella, which is either urgent or slow, light or heavy, or stops or starts. Seeing the beautiful water flowing at the moment when the rain fell and splashed, seeing the water mist rising after the car passing by drifting away with the wind, I especially like to see the flowers, plants and trees beside the road. In the late spring, it was the time when the new branches and young leaves were in full bloom. Under the washing of the rain, the clean, oily and shiny leaves made people unable to help touching it, loving it and kissing it. The Camellia of that tree was smiling happily and unrestrained in the spring rain. Tears of excitement hung on the petals. It swayed the wonderful figure for the breeze, and the breeze smiled at its bright face, fondle away its glittering tears. The heavier the rain is, the fewer pedestrians there are. I can not pretend to smile at others. I can face flowers with a sincere smile. I lingered in the rain, preferring the rain to be naughty like a child, which wet my pants sleeves and shoes and socks one after another. Often, a large group of new and old colleagues come home to get together. Some played cards, some did midnight snack, some watched TV, some chatted, of course, some robbed me of computers. I was begged to go to the card table by them. As long as someone took over, I went down to the throne immediately. It seemed that the bustle belonged to them, while I was just a spectator. More often, I prefer to stay quietly on the Internet, in my own space, whether reading or listening to songs, or simply in a daze. Everyone seemed to get used to and accept my abnormality. As long as I went back to the study, no matter online shopping, online chatting, or online games, I would always say to me: it will be fine soon. Although I will say you play, it doesn’t matter. I wandered in every room, trying my best to hide my anxiety. Watching them display their own skills to play and talk about all kinds of new things, they just think it has nothing to do with me. Sometimes under their consultation, I would also talk loudly, and there was no lack of humor and wit in the laughter. I don’t know why I am speechless when talking. Is it touching the hidden pain in my heart or disdain for trivial things? My audience will say anxiously, go on, how to say half a word. When did I become so unsociable? I like fishing floating bottles, so I made a group of friends. A bottle friend said: a person, a book, a cup of tea, a curtain of dreams. It makes me dementia for a long time! Yes, one person, one world, one book, one tea, one life, one dream, one life! He also said: One person is alone in the world, and one book is alone in happiness! My heart couldn’t help trembling, but I was still confused. What I do is like smoke and fog, ethereal, weird and lofty, but my inner passion is like fire, loyal and real. Holding a cup of fragrant tea in hand, I saw its tangled mist disappearing in front of my eyes. The faint fragrance penetrated into my heart, and the bitter smell lingered on my tongue. Days of rainy weather make people helpless and have many distractions. Suddenly a stranger asked me what I was doing? I said I was writing something. What about you? The other party told me that I was drinking idle tea. See if you are holding a cup of tea? What an idle tea! Suddenly I understood: the leisure and romantic feelings of the other party met and collided with my lonely and wandering soul! I have always known that I am not lonely, because I don’t feel empty. I love my job. I am not isolated either. There are a group of friends and colleagues who like me, and I also like them. I am loneliness in the soul! A cup of idle tea, I know I am not alone, a cup of idle tea, I know I am no longer lonely! Whenever the night is quiet, we listen to the same song and are moved by the same lyrics. No longer tapping the keyboard with both hands, but holding a cup of hot tea. At this time, silence is better than sound. Thinking about it, being lonely is actually good. You can let your thoughts fly in the air, be unrestrained and unconstrained, wander outside the emotional world, and understand the plain happiness of life enthusiastically.

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