Happy thought.

When you met me, you knew that actually I was not a person who occupied sadness. I love to laugh, and it makes me more silly than anyone else. Look, this is me, the original me. A heartless smile never mind any image, innocence and no annoyance. But later, there was a little accident. He accidentally pushed himself into the abyss of sadness and felt sorry for himself. Those happiness ran counter to me. I just hid in a dark corner and cried, looking at all the happiness that had nothing to do with me. Only say to yourself, hurt yourself, pain yourself forget. Words are less, others don’t know, I can bear it silently, and I can cry in the way of laughing… In that journey, silence, silence. I can’t find myself. When taking photos, I always freeze my smile. What I want to remember is the happiness of my whole life, not the melancholy face. Therefore, when others looked at my photos, they all said that I had a happy life, but when they looked at the mood I wrote down, they said that I am a sad child. I was a contradiction from beginning to end. Others could not understand my happiness and sorrow, even myself. How ridiculous it is. I used to say that I should look for a sea, throw all my troubles into the sea, and make myself happy. Now it is my fifth intimate contact with Hai. The sea breeze messed up the hair tip, and the sea patted my feet, telling me the story of the sea over and over again. The sea is silent, but the communication of soul can be felt. It teaches me to be strong. That night when I was drunk at the seaside, my uncle talked a lot to me, but I couldn’t remember clearly. I just vaguely remembered that. He said: silly child, we can’t compare with Hai, how can a person’s heart be as broad as the sea? Everything will pass. I know that everything will pass. I know that I won’t live in unhappiness all my life. I know, there are still people who care about me. I know that people who don’t love themselves will not love them either. I know… I know all. There are so many people who care about themselves, can’t they warm their little heart? In fact, it’s just stupid. How can there be so many obstacles? In the end, the only thing I can’t pass is myself. It was myself who trapped myself in sorrow and couldn’t walk out. Pushkin said: If life deceived you, don’t be sad, don’t be impatient, and calm down in gloomy days. Believe it, happy days will come… In my world, life didn’t deceive me. It was me who cheated myself and swore to be happy, but I didn’t do it without any intention. But now I quit, quit depression, and believe that happy days will come. I miss my happiness. I want to be myself. I am happy, always happy…

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