Some memories about youth

Some things are deposited in the depth of memory, not forgetting, just don’t want to think of it again. Sometimes I think I have forgotten it, but at some moment some fragments suddenly flash in my mind, as if telling yourself not to forget. When watching “The girls we chased together in those years”, when seeing Shen Jiayi and Ke Jingteng were punished to stand together, tears couldn’t help bursting out of my eyes. The same was true for me and a boy in those years, I don’t know whether that boy still remembers that seven years ago, he just entered the middle school, and then the teacher lined up seats. He and I sat together, a handsome boy who was a little ruffian. The sun was so hot that day, and the afternoon was even more hot and sleepy. I was so sleepy after a few minutes of math class. I vaguely heard someone calling me, and I promised to open my eyes, but I saw the math teacher standing in front of me with a face of anger. Maybe the teacher was in a bad mood that day, and my luck was also bad, I went out and stood as a result. In the roar of the teacher, I went out and stood with the book in my hand. Let’s see, can the grades of students like this be good? I didn’t listen carefully in class and went to sleep unexpectedly. Is there any teacher in my eyes? The annoying voice in the classroom makes people chatter endlessly, which makes people feel particularly harsh. The sunshine outside is particularly dazzling, but I don’t care about these, I just feel very ashamed, my face was lost. My self-esteem was severely hit by the teacher’s words. I felt wronged and uncomfortable. My tears kept falling down like broken beads. Hey, don’t cry, I came to accompany you. His voice suddenly rang in my ear. I was stunned. Who let you doze off? Now it has brought trouble to me, the teacher was nervous and saw me unhappy. He drove me out to accompany you to stand. After saying that, he blinked and spoke out mischievously. Looking at him winking, I was a little dumbfounded and laughed. Don’t cry. What’s the big deal? Don’t you just stand with punishment? I used to stand with punishment, for students like me who do not study well, these are all small cases, and they are all considered as the old man with bad math and old age syndrome. Listening to his illogical words, I was no longer so uncomfortable. I felt warm in my heart. In fact, I was always a sensitive person with strong self-esteem, when being criticized or humiliated by teachers, I would feel extremely uncomfortable, and I couldn’t bear the pressure of being laughed at, but if someone could accompany me, I would feel a great sense of security. When I looked at his smiling face, I said to myself in my heart that he was that person, the friend who can let me take off the mask of indifference and treat each other sincerely. Then that class was spent in his Hu Kan, which was not as long as he thought at first, because at the beginning, the students in the class were not familiar with each other, and they didn’t care too much, soon I was put into a brand new learning life, and that shameful thing was just a small episode in my life. Many things are like this, which may be very serious in advance, but after thinking about it, you will feel that it is no big deal. Sometimes the hard time is usually the happiest, it is not impossible to calm down the contradiction and smile at each other. At that time, it was necessary to go through sufferings and setbacks to comfort his brilliance. Then he studied hard and got good grades in mathematics. Later, he often said to me half jokingly, do you want to surprise the old math man, and then make him look at you with new eyes and regret that he didn’t have it? Every time I just laughed without saying a word, because I knew in my heart that half of my brilliant math scores were his contribution. Later, we often helped each other in study and gradually became good friends who talked about everything. People often say that the authorities are fascinated and the bystanders are clear, but this sentence has to be reversed in the relationship between us. It should be the authorities, bystander fans not only used to have classmates asking us what the relationship was between us, but now when someone mentions him in front of me, his eyes and tone are full of ambiguity, which often makes I am very embarrassed, I had to say with a smile: good friend. Really? Don’t believe it! If you don’t believe it, you can do whatever you want. Whenever they keep asking questions in a questioning tone, I have to hide and prevaricate in this way. In fact, I know that your affection for him is more than friendship but less than love. Compared with ordinary classmates, it is more special, but we were relatively sensitive at that time when we were in adolescence, I always mistake friendship for love. When I was in junior high school, I was totally a good child who only knew how to learn and didn’t care about anything else, so that my classmates later recalled me as a perfect child. As long as I entered the class, I saw that I was reading books or doing homework seriously. No matter what happened in the class, I didn’t raise my head. I thought they were exaggerating, in fact, the reason why I came to the class early at that time was that he always came to the class early. Although they always saw me studying seriously, in fact, I often stared at him secretly when I was doing homework, it was just that he didn’t know. At that time, I often thought that I was just an ugly duckling who was self-abased, watching everything in his invisible corner silently. There were trees and branches on the mountain, I don’t know whether you are happy or not. At that time, young boys and girls who were in adolescence had more or less favorable feelings for the opposite sex. Gradually, the campus began to fall in love from nowhere, those bold boys and girls were together just like the hero and heroine of the idol drama at that time. The hazy good impression gave birth to the Misty Love, which made those people immersed in it feel very happy. But accidentally let the teachers and parents know, then it would be a big disaster, suddenly fell back from the dream to reality, so those boys and girls together are careful to do a good job of confidentiality. For these reasons, some timid and shy boys and girls have to silently like a person and hide the person they love in their hearts, except me, many people may have loved or paid close attention to such a person silently at an ignorant age. Once my junior high school deskmate liked a boy in the class very much. Sometimes she would secretly tell me, sometimes when others talk about him, it doesn’t matter to pretend. Sometimes they even read some Constellation books to divine whether they are destined with him. I believe many people have done this before, but until graduation, this girl didn’t tell this boy what she thought in her heart, which might be a little regretful. But as the years went by, when we recalled again, we actually didn’t like it that much, it’s just like the feeling when I like someone. It’s a bit like I love you, but it has nothing to do with you. But at that time, the kind of light and pure feelings also gradually faded away with the growth of age. Only when I think of it occasionally, my heart still throbs, but most of the time, the past will be changed by our memory, the past youth time has largely become the youth time we imagined. Sometimes when we meditate, we will sigh with emotion about the passing of time. It is time that is the easiest thing to lose and the most precious thing in the world, and at the same time, we don’t know how to cherish it, I often hesitated when people asked me my age. I always felt that I was still a teenager, but the fact was that I had already become a teenager in my twenties. I still think of the people I once loved silently, and the carefree time, the sunshine in the afternoon and the boy in the sunshine. But when we separated, we were destined to have different directions in the future, later, he was admitted to a key middle school, and I was only admitted to the Second Middle School in the same city. I seldom contacted him because of the intense study afterwards, and I have never met him since graduation, until the college entrance examination, we met outside the examination room. From a distance, I saw a familiar person coming towards me. He raised his eyebrows and smiled at me, saying “Come On. But now he is in the beautiful city of Hangzhou, the famous university, but I came to the north, an ordinary university. Although there are contacts, they are still limited to ordinary friends, but the pure time when I was young was always unforgettable. Not long ago, when we talked with friends about the life in middle and high school at first, we talked about the secret love in our youth. At that time, we felt it hard to talk about the secret of embarrassment, but now we can say it easily, it seemed that I was talking about other people’s affairs. I clearly remembered that my friend said, fortunately, there was no result at that time, but now I recall it so beautiful. Maybe this is just right. I can recall without resentment and think with joy that there was a dream that someone once decorated my youth.

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