Hello, I will leave

I was once extremely afraid of touching the word love. I always feel that my heart is cold. It’s good to talk about love. What qualifications do I have to say love. However, if you only like it, it seems that it is more than enough. I don’t know how deep it is. I think about it every day, countless times. Do I like it deeply? Hello, I will leave. I know that it means giving up. However, I never had fantasies any more, from the moment you told me how I feel about you now: ordinary friends. I’m just sad. I heard that after your operation. Always, so sad. But I don’t know in what capacity I can care about you and whether I am qualified to care about you. I am worried that my concern will become your trouble. In fact, I have been impulsive for several times to go to the distant city alone to see you. After thinking for a while, I couldn’t. It’s not that I was not brave enough. At that time, I threw myself to the risk. I just thought that if you just had an operation, could you bear the sudden stimulation? I always think you vulnerable sensitively and dare not take such risks. So suffering. Later, I really couldn’t help sending you a message, the content was very short, and the wind and cloud were so light that there was not much temperature. Because our break-up has been very thorough, the wind is light and the clouds are light, which will not bring you trouble, I think. Therefore, the following text messages that must be sent every day are short, and there are even few words that I personally want to say. The purpose of my action is just to make you face all the pains bravely, optimistically and calmly, and I hope you neglect to consider that I don’t care about you or our irrepairable relationship. Because of this, my concern can minimize the troubles brought to you. Therefore, sometimes information is just inspirational quotes I found from the Internet. So I insisted on sending you a message for 9 days. I won’t send it to you any more when I catch up with the women’s confession day of the century. In fact, it is also because of my poor skills. I don’t know what else I can send you. I think your mentality has always been very good, and I don’t need to do anything more. Perhaps, what I do is just adding troubles to you about us. Two days later, I will visit you. Because I was afraid that you would scare you if you were not mentally prepared, I sent you a message in advance: we are on the way to see you. You are indeed a little unexpected. I looked haggard that day. In fact, the night before I went to see you, I lost sleep again. Then, on the way to the hospital, I was a little scared. I don’t know why, but I’m afraid. I am a little scared that I want to cry. If FEI called me at that time, I didn’t know if I could visit you calmly all the way. Arrived in your ward. You look energetic. But when we are relative, it seems not natural. The thing we wanted to keep secret almost leaked in front of our classmates. Later, I don’t mind either. Do whatever you want. We didn’t say much. Later, in order to cover up, I also talked nonsense. More is laughing. A very happy smile, or a shallow smile. I don’t know whether I am used to pretending sadness with smiles. In short, I just want to laugh and exhaust all my happiness and unhappiness. In fact, I have been unhappy for a long time. From the moment we met love, happiness became an extravagant hope. I don’t know when it will start. Laughter has nothing to do with mood, but just a mask. I feel your eyes sweeping past me. If it is not an illusion, it is a different look. I don’t know if that means you are the same as me, and at least there is still a place for me in my heart. And then I thought about it, I really shouldn’t have this greed any more. I read your illness report. HZ pointed to the words of taking medicine for life and said to me, “life-long Oh, emphasized it again. I looked at you, and your face didn’t look good. I know, you mind. We say goodbye to you. I don’t have any nostalgia, just like leaving after a routine. My heart is filled with lead. I knew you were ill before, but I am not sure how serious it is. Now, everything is clear. Sitting in the car on the way back, the MP3 beside my ears was singing enchanting love songs. I thought for a long time, a lot. At that time, I had an impulse to visit you again. I suddenly regret that I didn’t find an excuse as expected to leave it to see you the next day. I always realized that I wanted to stay so much later. But I can’t find the reason to stay. When I was in the car, I really wanted to send a message to tell you that no matter how your body is, it doesn’t matter whether you like me or not, I want to love you like Lin Xia fearlessly loves a madman in northern love, and face all the difficulties with you without hesitation. Maybe all the courage comes from your eyes. That look told me that you didn’t care about me at all. I even edited the text message in the car and prepared to send it to you. Later, I think this determination is a bit abrupt, which will scare you. It is better to make a phone call first to talk about other buffer. So I called you the next day. And everything ended with that phone. I don’t know why, but it feels so wrong. Our love is doomed not to survive in reality, and all our previous love is just platonic love. Calm down and think of a sentence in your message. After this operation, you can look down upon something more!, I think, these things include love, do you imply that love is no longer important to you? I think yes. If a person has the experience of fighting against life, what else can’t be put down? My courage was wasted in such speculation. I think I should look at everything calmly. I am idealist, I don’t care about the cruelty of reality, whether you are poor or rich; But in spirit, I can’t find a motivation to keep going. Please be assured to open our distance with a word please. I think you really don’t need me. If you don’t need it any more, then my persistence is entanglement and creating troubles. Therefore, I decided to give up. Let you go, let me go. I have thought for many times that it would be a good thing if you could have sex with a rich girl, at least she could help you. At least you can live a better life, so that I feel at ease. I am blessing. When I sent you a condolence message at the beginning, I thought: I will leave when you are ready. Now, you are good. At least, you will be fine. Then my best choice is to leave. It doesn’t matter whether it was because of my pride and deception or your ininitiative that caused our impossibility. Those are the past, but what matters is the present. But now all kinds of analysis show that I should give up. And I should have given up long ago. I shouldn’t have said this now. Because we have already gone further and further. Of course, you won’t know all these contradictions I have had. We should all be good. Then, I tried to be friends lightly.

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