In the lights dim lonely

After dinner, I went for a walk with my master. The lights of Liuku flickered, which made this small town well connected with the modern city, and there was a kind of luxury and romance with bright lights everywhere, especially the flowing of the Nu River adds some unknown ambiguity and warmth to this small town. Many houses were constantly demolished, changing the decoration style, and soon they appeared with a new face. The lights in the distance flickered abnormally, and there were several dazzling characters, which were elegant and fashionable, as for the stupid questions I asked with no sense of direction at all, Sir always laughed at me happily. You see, that building is so tall, the light is particularly bright, and the name is also nice, is it the new house built? Pig, you are so stupid. Look, that building is just opposite your parents and their house, which was changed by a former hotel. It seems that you are totally unfamiliar with this beautiful small town, Liuku, the state capital. Yes. I have always been in the countryside. When I lived and studied in this town with my parents, many of my classmates came from the countryside. After work, there are only a few people working in the countryside. However, I finally went to the city once. Occasionally, some classmates invited me to dinner, and I didn’t know the direction. When I called to inform me, I always asked you to help me continue, then help me remember the location and tell me the direction. I laughed at myself, and the less sensitive one wouldn’t find some loneliness in what I said. There are quite a lot of distinctive lights in Liuku Town. Besides the brightly lit bridges and small bridges, there are also several dazzling golden characters in the Nujiang Grand Canyon. When it comes to night, these words flickered brightly and dimly, decorated the Biluo Snow Mountain and became the symbol of the Nu River Lisu Autonomous Prefecture. As soon as anyone stepped on the Nujiang River, they can be shocked and moved by these words introduced into the eyes. Whether you go out to study or go on a tour, you will know that you have arrived at Liuku safely as long as you see those words. Therefore, the warmth of home can fill your heart. Every time it gets dark, the new urban area is extremely beautiful. The dust in the daytime is completely covered by the beautiful lights, showing only the prosperity one after another, which makes people sigh with emotion, as if it is as luxurious as the city that never sleeps sung in the song. Tired of watching TV or playing with computer eyes, I would stand in front of the window, let my eyes drift to the twinkling words in the Nujiang Grand Canyon, and then slowly slide my eyes to the lights of the new city, these romantic and beautiful lights represent the changes of Liuku, a small town, and also bring shock to my heart again and again. I often feel such a beautiful place, no corner can accommodate my small figure, and no one knows the feeling of wandering like duckweed. I think, for any woman, home means harbor and dependence, and home is the place where your heart stays. Otherwise, no matter you are in a lonely village or a prosperous city, there is no warm feeling, only wandering and helpless and lonely. Maybe it is because of occupation or personality. The contact circle is very small and the time to communicate with others is not much. Every day is a very single 3.1-line life, the reason why the classroom office dormitory is called dormitory instead of home is that I am the only one in the dormitory most of the time, and only when the teacher comes to visit me during Zhou Wei or rest time, that place smells like home. And because I have been studying during holidays, I really spend very little time at home. Therefore, I hardly know anyone and have no condition to keep regular contact with the outside world, except my classmates and colleagues, occasionally a few netizens will not add a few new friends all year round. As the saying goes: it’s easy to walk with more friends. But for me, it is more difficult than climbing the sky. It was not exaggerated at all. If I traveled around the Liuku city of our state capital alone, even if there were a lot of people hanging out by Zhou Wei, it would be difficult for me to find some familiar faces. While when walking with him, there were people greeting him everywhere. He led the team a lot, so there were many players. Besides, he also taught sports for a long time, lead many students to participate in the competition, and naturally there are many acquaintances. In addition, I felt deeply that walking with my best classmate in high school was also very lively. She was a doctor and had many patients at ordinary times. In addition, she was very friendly, cheerful and easygoing, I also like to keep in touch with my classmates frequently. We went out for a cold drink. There were a lot of people who knew her and nodded to her everywhere. Looking at them, I think I am an orphan abandoned by this city. However, when the lights are dim, when encountering this kind of contrast between prosperity and coldness, I believe that no one can understand the loneliness hidden in my deep heart. Although my classmates treated me well, they rushed to pay the bill when they went out for a party, whether drinking tea or playing mahjong, whether I lost or won money, except that they were familiar with these procedures, it is more because they cherish and care for me. After all, they have lived in this town longer than me, and they can better understand some rules of the game in all the fireworks world, and sometimes I feel embarrassed and always feel that I owe them a favor. Even if I laugh at myself at any time, I still have to look at our once pure and beautiful friendship among classmates with a simple look, but sometimes I still feel that I can’t keep pace with the progress of this town. When the weather is warm, sitting in the teahouse beside the river, drinking tea, playing mahjong, or drinking a glass of red wine or cold drink, listening to the pleasant sound of the river, listening to the people around talking and laughing, looking at the flickering lights, everything brings an unreal warmth, which still makes me feel lonely. I will immerse myself in these laughter and laughter, but I can’t find the direction to go home, I even feel like sleepwalking. Life in the countryside has always been lonely, except for a few dog barks and scattered and not so bright lights, it is hard for you to see such bustle and noise. Therefore, at this time, I always smile and seldom talk, but my heart is still lonely and lonely, but no one knows it, no one understand. Therefore, I often say shamelessly that I understand the loneliness and loneliness that others cannot know, and I understand the pain and loneliness that some figures turn around after prosperity. Because, in the deep dim light, I have experienced the pain and loneliness that others cannot know. However, anyway, I am still a person who is not easy to be defeated by negative emotions. After all, I know very well that life has to continue. Suddenly looking back, the lights in the distance are still flashing,, I will never present what I hope. Since it is a thought that no one can understand, I don’t have to worry too much about it. I must adjust my bad mood at any time, I can’t let those bad emotions affect my life, so many times, some loneliness can only flash by, and I quickly return to normal in an instant, I don’t allow myself to sink myself into it like a certain stage in the past, making myself physically and mentally exhausted, and finally only hurting myself. Many things in the world exist dialectically. There are contradictions, pains, laughter and happiness. It is this cycle that promotes the continuous development of things. Heraclitus also believes that everything is flowing and everything is changing constantly. His famous saying is that people cannot step into the same river twice, because both this river and this person are different. This also warned us from another level that we should be the master of our mood. Even if we would encounter the loneliness and helplessness in the dim light at any time, we should not defeat ourselves. 2012.03.08

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