Broken Words Before Dawn

Late at night on weekends, it was very quiet after the noise, so quiet that no extra noise could be heard. I am not a night owl, but I like to indulge occasionally and talk with the night all night long. Walking towards the balcony, I felt the rare tranquility quietly. Looking up, I could not see the Big Dipper or the distant place where I settled down the next day. Still hesitating, still in a daze at a loss. In the early morning, the night was as cold as water, stirring up a little sadness and decorating the whole night. I am always used to leaning against the corner of the wall in this quiet night, counting the memories repeatedly, regardless of the past or the present. This city has always been indifferent, and I gradually get used to this kind of indifference. I always watch out and be vigilant, which seems to be more acute than animals. Sometimes, an illusion like a grave strikes frequently. The sufferings in life were not rejected by my own ability, so I chose to bear them silently and endure them. As time passes, I have unconsciously trained Diamond is not bad. When I walked into the surging crowd, I always felt strong to others. I had to admit that I pretended to be strong and really gorgeous, and cheated him or her around me. But every time I unload my heavy leather bag in the middle of the night, I am still fragile and vulnerable. Occasionally indulged in the midnight, I was indeed very presumptuous. I dared to think anything and could think anything. I even thought of death and the birth and death of every minute. It was a state of mind that could not be said, just like accidentally digging out the buried missing, just like penetrating poison, which was about to suffocate, but obsessed with addiction, and could not stop. I don’t know when, I have boarded a train of sadness, huddled in my corner, quietly as a spectator. Look at people coming and going, flowers blooming and falling, the struggle for fame and wealth, verbal warfare, the impermanent life and death, the joys and sorrows, and the surface I can see. It seems to have something to do with me, but it seems to have nothing to do with me, and I can’t say it clearly. Forced to survive, I wandered in the crowd reluctantly, feeling natural selection, the jungle, friendship like wind, Love waves in my heart, feelings that I can feel and words that I can feel. I weave an invisible net for myself, cutting off the reality and illusion, just like day and night. I tried to separate me from the crowd, so there would be no me in the noise, and I could lose calmly, because I never wanted to get it, so there would be no disappointment. I am proud of it, thinking that I can cope with such a messy game life by firmly grasping the remaining youth tail. Wandering in the midnight before dawn, I indulged myself just because it was dark, and no one could see the mask I removed. I am presumptuous, just because it is quiet, no one can overhear my cowardice under strength. The footsteps of Dawn are approaching, and I gather thousands of thoughts hastily, forcing myself to fall asleep and have a good sleep. It is possible to wake up the next day. I wear a mask that is inseparable from me and smile continuously, continue to live, even if the smile is just an expression, you should also laugh heartily. If you are not strong, who can you show your vulnerability?

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