Future self, how are you [Qintai Literature and Art]]

The midnight had entered the last hour, and the street lamps outside the window reflected a cold shadow. In this windy and cold winter, I greeted myself after many years with warmth word by word. Time flies. I thought I had caught something, but when I recalled the journey I had traveled, I suddenly felt that everything was too hurried. For more than 20 years, I rode a horse and raised a whip, eager to grow up. Now I grow up and have my own thoughts, but I try my best to keep that innocence. Therefore, on this night, I thought about myself in the future and those visions that I had expectations but couldn’t realize now. Standing in the snow of the northern country, the cloak was covered with floc due to its long looking at Heilongjiang. It was already the twilight years, recalling the past years and sighing the ups and downs of life. The bitter weather in Harbin has passed over my face more than once. With two sleeves twitched, I left this hot land with blood and passion. In the raging crowd at the railway station, a ragged guitar Wanderer was using his vicissitudes of voice to protect the music dream trampled completely by reality. I once pursued it with moths and moths, finally, I was forced to make a living and gave up, just like the flowers that died on the green stripes. No one understands that craziness. I don’t know whether I sympathize with him or he gives me alms. Over the years, I have lived nothing like my real self. Silently, I walked towards the teenager, just saying: everything will be fine. Looking around the vast land that may not be able to return, I said goodbye with tears. This time, with the suffering body and the dusty soul, we have to practice the agreement with ourselves for half a century. Over the years, there have always been too many worries, difficult difficulties and dreams that have compromised with reality. However, some kind of original call in the heart not only has no erosion in the sharpening of time. In every midnight dream, I deeply Beat My Heart. How many times did the lights fail to fall asleep. I have waited for too long. Busy with money, I am really a person who does nothing. At this moment, in the bustling crowd of people, I felt the deep loneliness as a person, letting the noise of this world. Over the years, I have been misunderstanding the meaning of happiness, thinking that the wealth of family and the vanity enjoyed by individuals in countless flattery are all the contents of life. I thought that as long as I carried the sword of youth and the pure conscience, I could not betray my ideal soul. On the most lonely and tearful night, even if I was laughing at myself for being silly, still pull out the worldly spear, Sting yourself, remind yourself to march forward bravely until now. There is no substantial significance in his own actions, but only to show others: I am an important person. However, there are still many literati in China with low income and no sideline, but they still insist on writing. I can’t deny that I have always been ingratiating myself to be a good writer instead of arousing the most basic behavior consciousness for the society from the perspective of a writer. Wandering for too long, my heart should have been persistent. I felt the warmth of the words again when I wandered away because of the ink left by the dust. This time, the train went all the way south, carrying my thick thoughts back to the land where I was born and raised. I love this land, just as Ai Qing expressed. The best friend who was washed by the years and was clear-minded finally didn’t abandon the choice of that year in the resounding circle after circle of the annual rings. Drink more, in the quiet night with snow velvet flying, reflecting the silhouette of time, Use Yu Wen to go back and revisit those fragments cut by years. We walked over gently, leaned down and picked them up one by one, with a smile of Victory rising from the corners of our mouth. Having passed the young and frivolous age, let those people and things we met pass. They have accumulated into a part of our body and will be brought into the loess with them. Who doesn’t admire these beautiful things? However, I carried my luggage again and set foot on the desert. Facing the rising sun, this time, I am no longer a prodigal. The prodigal son is for people without spiritual sustenance. Pointing to the country, not just the classmates. Inspiring words, they are still thousands of people in the past. At the age of 40, I think I have found the meaning and value of life: to warm rivers and mountains with integrity and conscience. After leaving my hometown, I buried all my guilt under the peach tree, just waiting for the geometric flowers to bloom. The person who buried the flowers told his parents about his heart feeling many years ago. Forgive me for indulging my love and freedom in my life. Maybe one day, I will fall down on the way, then let the wind take me on a long journey. Many years ago, I was worried. This time, I will take the unaccomplished steps of the youth to measure the smiles of Tibet and pay tribute to the holy with piety. Highland barley wine, buttered tea, Hada and prayer wheel will no longer be verbal excitement. Kashgar lake is no longer an extravagant hope. It only allows me to quietly feel the touch of sunshine and the warm wind. What else roar is needed to convey that desire. There are still many uncertainties in the future. In the cold night, snowflakes have grown into pieces. For a moment, if you lost something in a trance. Tonight, looking at the distance with a cooling heart, I went to catch up with the invisible trace in the fog, just like waving clouds and neon, and casually left without entanglement. Who can see the appearance of time clearly? It is just that he sees himself clearly in time.

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