Written on the Flowery March

In that sunny afternoon, I went to the company through the side door of the dormitory building. There were several Manager dormitory buildings on both sides of the road, and many cars were parked downstairs. I suddenly raised my head and found the trace of birds. Looking carefully, several birds were flying around on the windowsill, as if looking for their own nests. This reminds me of swallows and the text about swallows I learned when I was young. But is this a swallow? No, no, it should be just an ordinary bird. Since it is an ordinary bird, it reminds me of Jay Chou’s sparrows with seven Li incense and a kind of pedantic bird that I saw on the lawn of the factory before. I also remembered those people who accompanied me for a walk in the park. I don’t know if everything is fine! Seeing this scene, I am sigh with emotion like this, is it spring? Spring is coming? I didn’t expect spring to come so soon. Later I recalled that if someone heard these words at that time, he would surely think that I am a madman. How could there exist such kind of people who could not distinguish between spring, summer, autumn and winter here. Isn’t spring coming long ago? For Shenzhen, summer is coming soon. But I suddenly felt that it was already spring! In this way, in the past two months, I have been living in winter and hibernating in my own world. Does this kind of meaning come into being without seeing flowers bloom? Didn’t you see the inverted green grass marks? Looking around, I really can’t see such scenery. No wonder I live in winter. Just such a small plot caused a big shock in my heart. The reason why it is said to be shock is that for such a long period of time, the inner heart is calm. What kind of calm is it? I can’t say it myself. In short, there is no intention to write or write articles, and no interest in doing things. Every time when a friend asks me, I always say that it is because I am too busy recently. In fact, most of the time, I am are staring at the Monitor in a daze, or chatting with some people who don’t contact much at ordinary times, killing time. In such a day, I am can do nothing, which is even worse than words. A friend said that I should go out for a walk to change my current lifestyle, saying that I have been soaked in this constant environment for too long, and it will become moldy and rotten sooner or later. In fact, I am used to staying late in the office these days. Every time I walk out of the office building, there are almost no people on the road. The night wind rolled up and put down the dust on the road without any hindrance, as if playing games with them. Entering this relatively open ground from a completely closed space, the whole person becomes fresh and sober. Maybe I should really listen to my friends’ opinions. When I come home from work, I also change my way to change my mood. But this idea just sprouted and was strangled in my mind. I asked myself, what can I change? In addition to taking a few more steps, there was no scenery to see and nothing could be changed, so he simply returned according to the original road. For the decadence of recent days, I am have reflected and seriously reflected. But also develop a habit of not knowing whether it is good or bad. In the dormitory alone, it was so quiet that I could hear my breath. I didn’t know whether it was good or bad. These days, before going to bed every night, I would lean against the head of the bed in a daze, feeling that I had thought a lot of things, but I didn’t know what I was thinking about, until the shoulder leaning against the head of the bed became sour, I turned off the light and lay down. My colleagues asked me whether I was afraid of living and whether I would be stuffy. I smiled casually and said, “it’s good to live alone. There’s nothing to be afraid. One night, I was so sleepy that I got a call from my father. It was already eleven o’clock. On the phone, I almost didn’t say anything, and kept responding. In fact, I was scolded miserably by my father, because of the exam and something, I couldn’t know. I haven’t been scolded for a long time. This feeling is actually quite good, at least let me know that my heart still hurts, my face still blushes, I still feel ashamed and sorry for my parents, they were worried and disappointed again. I didn’t know why my father was so angry that night, but I was sober, which I had never been sober these days. Sometimes, I really feel that I am a bastard, doing a lot of things is half-hearted, and I have never made up my mind to do one thing and do it well. My father knows my personality and temper very well. He knows what I am thinking and what I want to do with my expression and eyes. After being severely taught by my father, I felt a little sad in my heart, but I still fell asleep again. In fact, I just owe abuse. I am know that I have been living a life-threatening life these days, so do I. It has always been like this since I came from home to write this article after the Spring Festival. Don’t read books, don’t study, watch TV series one by one, watch it once and watch it for the second time. At work, I don’t do things for several days, staring blankly at the monitor, or talking nonsense with some people I know or don’t know on QQ, killing time, and then forcing myself to stay for half a day, or finish the work that I didn’t do a few days ago in one day. It’s tiring to do things like this, I am know it, and there is a tendency of self-abuse. It seems that only when you are tired can you feel that you are still alive. Besides, you don’t know what else you can do. Just like today, just like now, I knocked hard on the keyboard as if I was venting. The fingers of the left ring finger and the little finger were longer than those of the other eight fingers, the two fingers and arms were very sour when typing words so hard, but I thought this feeling was good. Every time on such a day, I especially want to find some blows and sins. In the past, every time when I was like this, I would call the misty rain and talk to her about the recent situation. Then she couldn’t help telling me, because I knew that she really wanted me to figure out some truth, but my brain can’t turn around. She always said that some things had to be figured out by herself, but I didn’t want to think deeply. I always thought that she could make it clear. She knew my personality, I forced myself to straighten out my thoughts. My boss was reluctant, but I knew that she did everything for my good. Some things had to be faced by herself and experienced to grow up, but I always chose to escape. Every time I talked to her, the whole person felt much more relaxed. This time I didn’t dare to call her, because I couldn’t disturb her, and I couldn’t always worry her and make her embarrassed. Now, she has been upgraded to be a mother, and so have I. That little life came to this world healthily. Although he hadn’t seen him yet, he had been looking forward to, praying and blessing. Is it because of the constant illness that this relationship becomes like this? In fact, I know it is not. Maybe it still has some influence. I am an impatient person, I always feel uncomfortable when I catch a cold, but I feel uncomfortable when I stand and sit. Why not update the novel? To be honest, I don’t want to touch it at all. Occasionally I mentioned a little mood, but soon I was swallowed up by another decadent mentality. The novel has been stopped at the scene when the hero was ready to recall the encounter between him and the heroine. In fact, how he met and what kind of scene were all in my mind. Even the way the heroine turned back and smiled was clearly engraved in my mind, but I just didn’t want to write it down with a pen. At this time, I would think of sister Chen Hui’s words, you are just making excuses for your laziness! Yes, I admit that I also want to live refreshed. I hate myself like this, but I can’t get out of this puzzle. When knocking these words, the sunshine outside was very warm, and I hadn’t seen the sun for a long time. I felt much better. During this period of time, I didn’t find anyone to complain or go out for fun, but I knew everything would be fine. I should have stepped out. It shouldn’t be like this, nor should it be like this. I want to eat well and take good care of myself. Who can you show your cowardice when you go out alone? I miss all my friends as well. Are you all well?

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