In winter (chapter 4)

I dreamed of the earth wall of my hometown again last night. I basked in the sun on the earth wall. The low earth wall accumulates warm sunshine and resists the cold wind on one side. I am on the earth wall, listening to those old stories, those old people. A voice told me. I can’t see the people in the voice. I looked at the front of the earth wall, the skinny and curved path. The path carries the footsteps of my ancestors. When I came from the path, those footsteps had already disappeared at the end of the path. I want to look for it at the end. But I am still on the low soil wall. I want to escape from the voice that keeps talking. I have never seen those stories. The voice said, saying, it seemed a little angry. Why do you bury me with sound. I feel very tired and helpless. In fact, I just want one way. A road leading to the past, to the horizon or the corner of the Earth. Slowly, the sound went away and disappeared. I saw the sky wet the wheat seedlings in the field easily with a few words. The voice said so much to me, I thought I should be moved, but I didn’t. I said to the disappearing voice: Forgive me, I have no words. Miss a snow This is the biggest snow I have ever met in my life. When feathers all over the sky appeared on our way, I was shocked by the flying snow. Only the heavy snow we have seen in the film appeared in front of us. After a short pause, we jumped out of the car with cheers, growing countless happy wings like flying snowflakes. I am met snow in the place closest to the sun. A passing Tibetan gave us a warm smile. Seeing the rotating scripture holder in his hand in the floating snow, it was like an ancient Tibetan song. Looking at the gradually moving figure, I really want to make myself as pure as a Tibetan. I want to take away the whole snowflake and put it on my head of bed in spring. And I am just a passer-by of this snow. I seem to come here specially for receiving this snow. Cheers and laughter in the snow became the scenery along that road. All the turbulence, depression and happiness in my heart were taken away by the snow, leaving only quietness and lyric. Can not be adjacent to the snow, guarding the eternal flower. In the morning, the lonely figure I saw the woman playing the piano again, in the window opposite my balcony. The figure was lonely by the window, shaking gently with fingers. I couldn’t hear the piano. For a long time, I stood opposite, watching the woman playing the piano in the window. The figure is neither beautiful nor poetic. It seemed that I was caught by a kind of unspeakable loneliness and had the feeling of wanting to cry. Maybe the music played by women is not sad. How can such a figure play a sad song. I just feel the loneliness of my figure. Perhaps, I want a kind of loneliness to free myself. The figure had no idea that I was talking with her. Our distance was across the balcony, through the window and the air in the middle, and through a long sigh. I like this kind of conversation, which may be the beginning of my writing, if I write it. Try to keep silent, and let the words brew quietly in my heart. Standing on the balcony where the wind passes by, there is no music, only cold air and cold morning. Several sparrows were enjoying their food on the other side of the balcony. They could not see the woman playing the piano in the opposite window. It is also a kind of happiness to play and keep the days like this. I suddenly feel that this kind of day is really good. In fact, everyone’s life is full of the rhythm of poetry, and the romance of poetry is written. I felt that poetry came out of the window and drifted in the sky with the cold winter wind. At this time, the woman also left the piano she played and stood up to the balcony outside the house. The woman picked up the kettle and poured the flowers and plants on the balcony. The posture of watering is much more touching than when she plays the piano. In the afternoon, my mother and I really wanted to return the days to the past. I haven’t sat with my mother for a long time. Most of the time, when mother came, she always let TV accompany her, thinking that mother would not be lonely with TV. Sitting upstairs with my mother, my mother looked at me and said that my face was bloody and much more beautiful. I laughed at my mother that my daughter was all good. In fact, my mother is very beautiful now. According to my eldest uncle and mother, my young mother was the most beautiful woman in their radius. I don’t know how big the radius is, but I just think it must be very happy for my father to marry my mother. My mother’s home is a rich family in our hometown. There are lands and houses. My father’s home is far from here. My grandfather was born as a long-term worker and lived by renting land. The house was also rented. My mother’s ancestors left two big quadrangles for the younger generation. It is said that the biggest one was given to my grandfather’s brother. However, the younger generations failed to succeed and pulled the quadrangle courtyard apart. Some of the houses were replaced with silver and some with food. My mother’s courtyard was saved. The stage on the top of the entrance has already become a utility room. Every time I went back to the stage, I had to imagine the sound of gongs and drums going far away, but I had never walked in. I like listening to my mother talking about my father. About those days when my father suppressed bandits. In fact, my mother knows nothing more than me. The first letter my father wrote to my mother was one year after my father arrived in the Army. I asked my mother, why did my father write to you after more than a year? Didn’t my father want you? I was not afraid that my family would promise you to another family. My mother said that I knew the rules at that time, and I actually teased my mother. Ha ha, it turned out that my father was fond of playing when he was studying, and he was always absent from school. He went up the mountain to play cards with several young people in the same village while reading. No wonder I heard my uncle talking about my father’s sight when he was studying, and then I understood what this sight meant. After my father learned some culture in the Army, the first letter was written to my mother. The content in my father’s letter is very simple, of course there won’t be words like Miss. However, I can feel the happiness in my mother’s heart. My parents must match each other when they were young. My father is tall and handsome, while my mother is gentle. In my Big Uncle’s words, the woman who has the first appearance in the radius is still not beautiful. Mother’s beauty is simple, with the fragrance of rural soil. I spent an afternoon with my mother until five o’clock to cook. I can cook for my mother again, and I am happy with this happiness. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

Topics related to books

Once in the countryside, I think I have only a handful of books. Although it is not a book collection car, in this remote village, I am afraid there is no second person who can own a separate bookstore and several cabinets of various books. After 30 years of accumulation, although many of them were lost and sold in several moving moves, those books which were reluctant to discard and sell were put in bookcases and piled at the corner of the wall, some have become yellow and moldy, and have no time to read carefully, but still cherish it. When I go out sometimes, I must go to the bookstore and buy some of them. Although the book price is amazingly expensive now and I am short of money, for the book I love, I still buy the book I like at no cost. It seems that books are a part of my life, and buying books is an indispensable link in my life. In fact, I didn’t read most of these books carefully. I put them in the bookcase and piled them at the corner of the wall. I felt mouldy and moth-eaten. I really felt ashamed of their preciousness, I really feel ashamed of my previous painstaking efforts in books. Second, I don’t know how many times I have made up my mind that I will never enter the bookstore and ignore those books from now on. I have read books for a lifetime, read the principles in books for a lifetime, but I still have too many doubts and difficulties about life, life and society. It is difficult for me to be fully enlightened, nor to fully control life. The trivial matters in life, the loss in the workplace and the contradictions caused by the economic crisis in the family often make me doubt about the use and benefits of books. Diverse and complex society, not several books can be interpreted clearly, not several articles can be clearly explained. The delicacy and indifference of interpersonal relationship, the pressure and confusion of survival, and the complex and intricate social relationship network seem to mean that if you immerse yourself in books, you may be out of touch with the society. In addition, the social values of materialistic desire, profit-seeking, money-only worship, and many hidden rules in the social field make reading less and less popular and indifferent, increasingly losing its due effect. Because of this kind of confusion and doubt, I often want to refuse the temptation of books, put them in the high cabinet, hide them in the bottom of the box, and ignore them. But less than a few days after this idea came into being, I slipped into the study and threw myself into the piles of books, enjoying the fun of books and letting my thoughts travel in the sea of books. Third, shopping in stalls to buy cheap books is one of my hobbies. Books sold in authentic bookstores are not discounted. For me, a scholar with few financial resources, buying expensive books is almost a luxury. It is a good way to shop at a stall and buy books at a discount. Buying books at stalls can also cut down the price. A book worth 30 or 40 yuan can be bought at more than 10 yuan. Some of them are damaged, and some of them have poor printing quality. If you just take a look, you can also get some profits, and you can also get the book that you have admired for a long time, which is really relaxing! Fourth, it seems a little inappropriate for people nowadays to enter bookstores and libraries. This is an abnormal social phenomenon. Once, I went to the county library to check the information. It was very hot. The library staff saw me and explained the purpose of coming. They were very enthusiastic. They Also specially turned on the electric fan for me and made a cup of hot tea, and she also expressed her extreme trust in me, and she went to another cabin to chat with her colleagues. Throughout the whole morning, I looked through the library of ruoda alone, but there was no second reader. The second day was like this, so was the third day. I guess: I’m afraid that my arrival has made the Librarian realize the value of his work. There must be readers and people who like reading. Unfortunately, there are fewer and fewer scholars like me. It is also an indisputable fact that scholars lack their due bosom friends. One of my colleagues once made an angry bet: I dare say that there are less than 2.5 people who like reading novels in our whole county! Although the words are bantering, it can be seen. Another time, I went somewhere on a business trip, looking for the bookstore I once knew and had not seen for a long time, but I couldn’t find it at all. After being instructed by a kind person, I finally found it in the depth of an alley. After entering, I also felt the desolation of the door and the silence was very quiet. It was like a shy little daughter-in-law, who was really raised in a boudoir without knowing, wow! Fifth, when it comes to reading, it always reminds people of some worrying things. One is that I have a collection of books, which are often borrowed by some so-called book lovers, but after borrowing, most of them are meat buns beating dogs —- there is no return. In fact, they do not love books at all, nor do they know that it is not easy for scholars to buy books or collect books. Whether you borrow or not is the greatest disrespect for scholars. Secondly, a unit at the county level donated thousands of books to a village, preparing to build a village-level reading room. The dazzling new book makes people want to borrow it after seeing it, and they are embarrassed to speak. A few years later, I went there again and found that there were no books there. After asking, I knew that some of those books were taken back to cut shoe patterns, some were torn into toilet paper, and the rest were sold as waste. I have been teaching for decades. It is common for some students to use the newly-issued books to fold planes and paper baskets. Before the end of the semester, the books have been torn to pieces. I asked: Isn’t it a pity that you even tore your own book? The student showed a careless look. I was speechless, just shook my head and sighed. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

Temple and Buddhism

When the sound of frogs beside my ears is replaced by the rumbling noise, I often feel tired in the world of mortals. Therefore, people will go to some places to seek some spiritual sustenance and comfort, such as temples. For me, every time I go on a business trip, I always go to some temples. I am not unfamiliar with Buddhism, but I go to temples not to seek blessing or escape. When I was studying a long time ago, there was an ancient temple which was almost deserted nearby. At that time, I was weak and crowned. I was far away from my hometown and liked to travel in the wild. I often stayed alone in my spare time. There lived an old monk who was nearly 80 years old in the temple, with white eyebrows and white beard, which was quite immortal. The old monk was very enthusiastic. Every time he saw me passing by, he would wave his hand. And I often felt tired and thirsty, so I went in and talked with him from place to place. After a long time, this temple was as familiar as its backyard. The old monk was not a native. Every time I asked him where he came from, he would say in a Zen machine: “Old na can come anywhere freely. For a long time, I have always been free, relying on the knowledge of several classics and some experiences of life, I also like to hide with his language Machine when speaking. One day I asked him again: where did the monk come from? He answered casually: old na can come anywhere freely. Tathagata in where? At the place of Buddha soil ten trillion yuan away. I couldn’t help laughing. He was shocked and asked me: what are you laughing? I said: laughing at you, you are still not fully enlightened. Then you say, where does old na come from? I said: The Buddha is not in the place of ten trillion Buddha soil, but in the heart of every good man and woman in the three thousand world. If you have good thoughts, you will be the Buddha, that is, the heart is the Buddha. You and I are both Buddhas, so you said you came from Tathāgata, and I said you came from you. After hearing this, the old monk paused, then put his hands together and looked at me with a look of surprise and praise in his eyes. Then he said something that made me want to slip away: it’s a pity that you don’t become a monk. I remember that Temple was a very quiet place with a laughing Maitreya Buddha. There are seats of Buddha which fall wrongly on the cliff around, and they put up their palms and sit on their feet. The eyes seem to be closed and closed. It seems that everything is in control like sleeping or not, and they snap their fingers for thousands of years, there are too many incredible things in the world. In my heart, temples should be a clean Holy Land. That is the natural simplicity and depth, the heaven of the world; It is also the shelter of the painful body, the place where the flowers and trees are covered with green shades of admiration and dreams, and the dew of the soul seeks the leaves of attachment. Today’s temples are different from those before. Most of them are assimilated by secular materials, and there are voices selling incense everywhere. In others’ belief in Buddha, good men and women make profits in their clamor. Personally, I think the ideal Temple is lonely and cold. There is not so much noise in the world, not so many good men and women. The fog in the morning sun and the leaves falling in the dusk are so quiet. In addition to reciting Buddhist scriptures, the wooden fish with sound is the Bell coming late. Only such temples are not easy to see again. This kind of temple should be found in a clean place. Usually, it is a small one, with high clouds, high water, dark clouds and sparse Crows, but it is an excellent place to settle down. If we talk about Buddhism, it is noisy or quiet, and it is all from the heart. There is no sorrow and joy in the world, and there is no life or death. It’s all in my personal feeling. When the feeling also becomes nothingness, it enters the great situation. People living in the world of mortals cannot enter this feeling, which is a kind of detachment from the meaning of life. If you enter, you will reach another state, and the foothold of life will reach another vertex from this vertex. The final farewell is only the complete detachment of body and material, which is contrary to the pursuit of endless desire for expansion. When I go to the temple, I usually don’t buy incense candles or burn incense and kowtow. There are often people confused with Buddhism and superstition. I am always chanting that I would rather believe it than believe it. In fact, Buddhism should be similar to philosophy and completely irrelevant to superstition. The philosophy of Buddhism is vast and vast, and also profound. That is the understanding of the mind which needs to be obtained by perseverance in the empty breeze. On the way to leave the temple, I couldn’t hear the heavy ringing of the bell. As far as I am concerned, it is not just like a good man and a faithful woman, just to make some clear wishes, but to witness Buddhism. I suddenly remembered the conversation with the old monk before. As for the Buddha statue located in every temple, in the eyes of half closed and half open, I am afraid that I will never see the heart Buddha of good men and women in the world, but only some humble people with vested interests in the world. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…