Shanghai complex

In the middle of February of 2012, I moved my family to Yuyuan Road. There are many shabby old western houses, red brick walls and wooden stairs on this road. Usually there are several families living in a building, which share the kitchen and toilet. All kinds of clothes are covered with bamboo leaves at the window. There are many small shops on both sides of the road. A supermarket that is open 24 hours a day. Real estate intermediary companies, flower shops, clothing stores, banks. I walk on this road every morning. Go to Jing’an Temple to work by subway. I returned from this road again at dusk. I will buy drinks, bread and vegetables in the cloud supermarket, and then return with a full load. Cook in the public kitchen. The sound of TV came from other people’s room. The naughty cat ran out of the room, circling around me in the kitchen, meeping. The smell of the dishes overflows from the pot, and may spread to someone else’s room. In the room, turn on the TV and have dinner. In the spring of Shanghai, rainy days are constantly cloudy, and the rain outside can be heard all night. The house I live in now is in the deep alley. When I wake up in the morning, I can hear the sound of birds. The Peach Blossom Garden in the downtown area. I will walk in the sun when it is in good weather on weekends. From Yuyuan Road to Nanjing West Road. Stay in Jiuguang Department Store. There are a lot of shopkeepers there. They buy clothes with luxury brands. Leather bags, scarves, hats, perfumes and watches have similar expressions, or their eyes are wandering, or they are extremely excited. I just look at those expensive items in front of the counter. Those objects that are chased and used to show their identity and status. Once in a bad mood at dusk, I walked along Nanjing West Road to the Bund. The traffic lights which had waited for many times turned green all the way, and then crossed the zebra crossing with no expression. Walking for a long time makes my toes ache in my heart. But I still can’t bury the disappointment in my heart. When passing the pedestrian street, it was submerged in the trendy crowd. It seems to be no different from ordinary people in the crowd. However, I know that I suffer from deep depression. Temper will burst out for no reason. On the surface, it looks like a fool. The secret is hidden in my heart. Cannot words. When you are alone, you can’t help crying. I often suffer from insomnia. In the Bund, I see those old buildings standing. Gorgeous and decadent, full of desolation. I see the surging Huangpu River, opposite which are Jinmao Tower, Oriental Pearl TV Tower and uneven high-rise buildings, forming an urban landscape. The man I love, the man who loves me. Working in that Jinmao Mansion. I suddenly cried. Will his love, our love, be like the colorful lights on the Bund. After midnight, it will become desolate and desolate. I asked myself, what on earth does love grow? Is it just an illusion I gave myself? Or as Anne said, self-deception in the fall of emotion is only to satisfy the defective self. Where is my way out? I have been in Shanghai for enough time and get used to the gloom and rhythm here. Many people in the North cannot adapt to Shanghai. They feel that the sunshine is not enough and the air is too humid. Men in Shanghai are just like the weather in Shanghai. They are selfish in tenderness, and their feelings are not warm enough. I never like Shanghai men. Perhaps because there are flaws in my feelings, I need more powerful forces to bring me to a new world. But I like Shanghai, which is the city I am obsessed with, and I have a special complex for it. Different from the complex in modern girls’ hearts. Many of my friends like Shanghai. I know that they like the material feeling brought by this city. They like the gorgeous appearance of the city. And I am obsessed with the decadent atmosphere of this city. I often go out in railway stations, subways and bars. I observe everyone’s expression. They may haunt the upper class. Or a mistress kept by others, or a beggar on the street. With the same cold eyes. Mechanical-like pace. Regardless of the status, its essence is the same. Just a puppet manipulated by this society. Sometimes, such men or women will be found in the crowd. He (she) has a fresh look, advocates nature, and does not pursue material sense. Know your inner needs and do not blindly cater to the world. I know, such a person. Very rare. And there is loneliness that ordinary people cannot understand. They must have a very strong heart to resist the temptation of the outside world. Or they have severe depression. In a late night or morning, fall down a tall building or jump off the subway track. Or return to life. They are the few who are willing to follow their hearts among all Yunsheng. They will appear in my words. Late at night, I picked up Anne’s “Happy New Year”, and it looked like. She is a writer I like very much. However, I hope that one day I can stop reading her books. Similarly, I know that one day I will leave Shanghai. All the things that are obsessed with, only leaving is the ultimate redemption. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. 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