Empty swing

It has always been there, carrying wind, rain and sunshine. It has carried the sweet feelings of two people, and also carried the lonely silence of one person. I said, let’s go to Chaoyang Park tomorrow. You escaped from my eyes and hesitated to answer, OK. Then there is no word. I sneered in my heart, if you want to play games, then I will play with you. Not long ago, I read a sentence, don’t take ambiguity as emotion. At that time, I felt this sentence was a little special, but I thought it had nothing to do with me. It seems that God arranged me to see it. It uses this sentence to remind me of my future experience. For a long time, I think ambiguity is not serious about feelings. I am used to making everything clear. If both sides are interested, they will develop feelings slowly. If there is only wishful thinking, that won’t let the intentional side sink deeper and deeper, and finally hurt a kind and helpless heart. Maybe what I wanted was too pure to understand the hazy beauty. But this time, I delayed the time. I don’t know why. How could I hesitate to you. Is it afraid of hurting you, or is it my intention. I think if I continue to play dumb like this, I will be immoral. You always treat me like this. I don’t know how to face you naturally. Maybe I am too selfish to take the feeling in your heart into consideration. Your feeling of transcending friendship has not yet reached love. So when I broke it, you shrank back. The rest of me hid in the corner and laughed at my own affections. The sunshine was so strong that it relentlessly baked the tired heart in my body that I couldn’t figure it out. Walking on the grass in the park, listening to the tiny sound under my feet, I couldn’t see the man walking on my right, his footsteps, no dialogue, no eye contact from my corner of my eyes. I picked a dandelion which was still quite independent in the blazing sunshine and blew it lightly, watching the lonely seeds falling down in the air without wind. There is a flower drifting far away, and then I see you, a completely different you from the past. At this moment, I can’t tell which one is the real you. I am very afraid of embarrassment, even the hot air will condense. However, now I just want to be silent. I think you too. I have been enjoying the feeling of walking with you all the time, as if there is a wonderful soul connection. I remember you asked me not long ago whether I had a feeling. I said no, because I didn’t know how to answer at that time. But now I know, but you don’t ask. Now that feeling is gone, you don’t have to look for it, you can’t find it back. Yes, the relationship at the beginning really can’t stand such cooling and injury. Walking in a corner, I saw a small swing, which was waiting quietly under the sparse shade of trees, waiting for a support reflecting its value. It has always been there, carrying wind, rain and sunshine. It has carried the sweet feelings of two people, and also carried the lonely silence of one person. You said, let’s go and have a rest. I shook and sat on the swing, feeling the lonely silence of a person, although you were sitting beside me. The swing slowly swung around. It carried two people, but there was no sweet feeling. When we leave, it will still be there, waiting for and sending away the next stop. I think, in fact, it is the loneliest, but it is also happy, because it has been giving. Just like the relationship between two people, the one who takes the initiative to give is happy, the real happiness. But at this moment, neither I nor you are willing to take a step towards each other first. I am because of self-esteem. What are you? Walking to the station, I was speechless all the way. After getting on the bus, you didn’t look back on purpose, not giving up, but being afraid of seeing my affectionate eyes. Are you sure that is deep feeling? Maybe I can’t tell its depth. 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