The bitterness of Leaving Home (Part One)

In the spring of 1999, after one and a half years in junior high school, I left quietly and left the junior middle school of M school that I dreamed. Ah! Ah! I said goodbye to the old middle school that I deeply remembered, away from its footprints, and went back to the top of the mountain with a muddled depression; At this time, I started to be passive again until I was disappointedly in the sleepless dark night sky, and I became a vegetative person who could not speak or walk. Spring, the gentle spring, has not yet come to the hot summer like lava, my heart began to collapse, and my heart began to be depressed. At that time, my mother asked me my plan after the new year. I didn’t know how to answer it. My uncle also asked my mother the same question. I seemed to think they were angry with me and looked down upon me, so I don’t want to talk to them, but they are my parents and brothers and sisters. Sometimes, before I have to answer them, I have to make a lot of mental preparations. I must bear their scolding or their criticism of me. Whenever I go to my uncle’s or relatives’ home, I feel a little worried or afraid of something. But half a year is almost over soon, and the May is also very hot, so I feel very lonely and boring after staying at home for a long time, my parents also felt confused because I didn’t have a job. After thinking about it, I didn’t have any friends to introduce it to me. Later, I found my parents and thought of my cousin D, so at that time, they thought of entrusting sister-in-law R to ask D to take me to work in F’s city. F City is the most difficult and beautiful County located near Fuchun River, and it is also the administrative center of my hometown. Although such a city is my best dream and one of the cities I most expect to come to, due to the poor economy in life, or because I have no familiar relatives in the city, so I had to stay in the countryside for more than half of my life. Until I lost the financial subsidy for studying in junior high school, I was forced to quit school and had to stay in the countryside for half a year, fortunately, under the leadership of D, I came to live and work in the city for the first time. Since Mrs D heard that I was bored at home, he rushed to his hometown to urge me to work part-time in the city the next morning. Because I didn’t have my own opinion, it was not a promise or no. Maybe at that time, I had been dreaming about life in the city, so there was nothing to refuse. On the evening of that day, my mother prepared my heart for me. Under the kerosene lamp, she mended my shabby clothes while sewing the holes in the clothes, at the same time, he nagged to me: a CHENG! You have never been to the city. If you have anything to do, you must listen to your cousin’s arrangement. Don’t go out without a home at night. This will make your eldest brother worried and also make us anxious; besides, your life problems must be in order, and your dressing and hygiene must be kept clean and fresh, otherwise your eldest brother and friends will look down upon you or hate you. I said: Oh! Know. But Dad said, “you know now, but when you really arrived in the city, did you forget what we said as if you had forgotten everything in your ears? I hope you are not. If you are like this, dad will not care about you. It was the first time that my father let me drink at night, and it was also the first time that I got drunk. I went to sleep unconsciously that night. When I got up early in the morning, the sunshine was very bright, so I breathed fresh air outside, waiting for my mother to make breakfast and have a good meal so as to say goodbye to my parents, along with D’s eldest brother, they went down the mountain to work in the city. On the way my mother sent me, I still repeated what I said last night. Dad didn’t say anything, but he still took out 500 yuan of cash from his pocket to my hand. When I really took over, D returned the money to dad and said: I’ll come up with a Cheng’s money. You can spend such a little money yourself. It’s OK to buy fertilizer. Dad said: how can I be so embarrassed? Or accept it! D said: Don’t worry! I’m here! I will not treat him badly. I will save his money for him and put it at home. Dad put the money back into his pocket and watched us go down the mountain. I looked back at dad and forgot my mother. Sometimes, I really felt my tears streaming down my face and my mood gradually hurt, looking back, I walked towards the downhill road, go! Go! The downhill road seemed to be particularly rough, especially rugged, and I didn’t calm down properly; It was really a painful situation that was hard to leave, which made me feel uneasy. I carried my bag, took off my luggage and went on the road one after another. When I arrived at the foot of the mountain, I comforted myself and said: Since I am going to work in the city, I should go because I should relax myself, why do you have to be so reluctant. There was a stream at the foot of that mountain. I looked around beside that stream. It seemed that I was the last nostalgia here. My heart was full of expectations and ideals, what’s more, my nostalgia reminds me of the beauty of my hometown. The gurgling tears were like Yongquan, and my surging mood was like an oath from heaven here, and I firmly obeyed D’s order, the bus from the direction of Huyuan to Ma Jian’s flight went directly to the city of F. We arrived in F city with great strength. We got off the bus at F city’s long-distance passenger station and saw a huge city at the first sight. I think it is huge, that’s because I saw the most perfect city for the first time. Maybe for the people in the city, the urban area here is not big, because it is much bigger than it, such as Shanghai, Hangzhou and Nanjing. But the first time I saw flowers, it was because I had never touched the city, and the first time I met a lot of fresh things, I felt that this was my dream paradise. D got off the bus first, so I got off the bus with him and walked along the streets with him. I didn’t know what road and Lane it was. I always felt that I was wearing Bagua hutong, let me touch the north but not the East, while touch the east but not the north, I feel very confused. When I came to a river, high buildings were erected on both sides of the river. I always thought it was near the Fuchun River. I really thought I saw the Fuchun River. I sighed at that time: isn’t this the only river in Fuchun River? I didn’t see how big it was? D said: this is not Fuchun River, but a amaranth River. I said: Oh! That is my illusion. After saying that, I followed him, but when we turned right in the middle of the crossroad, it was a long mountain road with lots of vehicles, the numerous mansions also made me feel the perfection of the city, the prosperity of the economy, and the hardship of starting a business with each other may make me hard to imagine, as if I came to a colorful world, when I came to a paradise in my childhood, I saw the dream of heaven dancing under my eyes. Passing along Longshan Mountain, there was a shopping mall crowded in and out, I looked up and saw the words of Fuchunjiang commercial city written on the upstairs of the commercial city. I seemed to know that this was the most prosperous shopping mall and the busiest pavement in F city. I wanted to say at that time: F City, what an amazing F city. I came to this strange city. I really feel that in this strange city, I can absorb your sunshine temperament and be a giant of a city, I want to show myself well. When I didn’t see enough bustling outside, I was led to the commercial city by D’s, which was full of vegetable stalls with vegetables, eggplant, garlic, scallion, tofu and so on on on the vegetable table, sister Tang set up a stall here. Mrs D led me here and talked with her for a while. At that time, sister and brother-in-law were having lunch. When they saw us coming, the elder brother-in-law put down the bowl and chopsticks in his hand and told us to sit down. Then, the elder brother-in-law said: a CHENG! Have you eaten? I haven’t answered yet. Mrs D listened to me and said, “We haven’t? The elder brother-in-law said: eat a little here, so as not to go home to burn? Sister also said: Yeah! Why not eat a little here? How troublesome it is to go home to cook? D said: Don’t be so polite, go home and burn it, it doesn’t take long, fast! When he was about to leave, the elder sister and the elder brother-in-law picked up some fresh vegetables and asked you to bring them back to cook for us; He and I left the stall of the elder sister and their couple, I went to another meat stall and bought a few Jin of meat, then left the commercial city, and unconsciously crossed a main road to a lane called Zhou Jialong, walking through the alley of that alley, we reached D’s residence. The house where D lived was an underground garage, which was very untidy and smelly. I really wanted to move out, but firstly I didn’t have the economy, secondly I was not familiar with the environment here, sanlai was my parents’ thousands of orders, which made me firmly remember their words. I had to live in the room reluctantly if I was asked to listen to D’s words. When I walked directly into the air from the outside, I felt really uncomfortable. I was afraid of going into that stove-like room, which really made me die with anger and shame. When I was dried by the sun in the hot sun, D said: why don’t you come in? Come on! Wash the vegetables! When I entered, I told him that it was too hot inside, and I couldn’t stand it. D continued: it’s hot! Have electric fans! Don’t be afraid of heat, get used to it after a long time. It was the same when I came here, but we could stand it if we persisted. Men are not afraid of hardship or tiredness. We all practice it in this way. I said: Oh! So he came in to help him cook. After lunch, he went out alone and asked me to have a good rest at home for a day and start work tomorrow. I agreed to D’s. When I was bored, I would watch TV in the room and occasionally read the story books brought by my family, let’s take a look at the residual reading energy in primary and secondary schools. One day passed unconsciously, and soon it was dusk, and D came back to cook. I don’t cook much, so there are a lot of housework done by Mrs D alone. I can only clean the bowl and chopsticks by myself, or clean the room or so on, but I don’t know much about others. After dinner at night, Mrs D and I had been watching TV in bed very early, and we couldn’t choose any good programs on TV. After watching for a while, I fell asleep unconsciously. All of a sudden, I woke up in the middle of the night. I wanted to be convenient, but I couldn’t find the toilet here, so I was in a hurry. I searched for it and finally found a convenient corner, when I came back after pulling, a patrol car happened to pass by. I was found by the policeman and caught as a thief. Two policemen came out of the car to check my ID card. I went indoors obediently, took out my ID card from my bag and handed it to them. They took out the registration book, I wrote down my name and ID card number on it, and then asked my family situation and address again and again. Then they asked D’s again and asked his ID card, he was asked about his work address, and all the inquiries were very detailed. Later, they even mortgaged D’s ID card and imported a TV set, asking him to verify the invoice and instructions of the TV set, to return his things to him. He had to accept it and let them take it at will. After D’s patrol left, he said: why were you so careless that the patrol team found out? I said: I don’t know either! How did I know that the night police in the city were so severe? If I had known that, I would not come out earlier. D continued: Be smart next time, don’t be so dull? Know? Said: Oh! Knowing that the light was off, we went to sleep. In fact, it is difficult to sleep at night, because the suffocation of this room is also difficult to get rid of at night, unless the temperature outside drops to about 278 degrees, it is possible to be more comfortable after midnight. When I woke up, the first thing I did was washing my face and brushing my teeth. Then I carried a few gray buckets and a big spade, follow D’s and lead me to take the first job. In fact, I didn’t know what hard work and helpless life were. I had never tried it. My parents also gave me up as a saint at home. At that time, I really felt lucky, but now I can only obey D’s leadership and become his apprentice. I came to the gate of the city, and then turned to the old road of South Gate Street. The entrance of South Gate Street was against Fuchun River, and this spacious river was the beautiful Fuchun River, and the position we stand is the ferry dock on the bank of Fuchun River, because its direction is against the South of the city, so the road it refers to is also called Nanmen Street, which is frequently near the Bank of Fuchun River. I am not here to enjoy flowers and Moon, nor to travel on vacation. I am just a wage earner who works in the tall buildings near the Fuchun River, I have no fate with the most beautiful Fuchun River. I climbed to the sixth floor of this building and opened the door. Several carpenters had already started work here, and their decoration had also gone halfway, there is only one bathroom and one wing room floor tile left when I come here. This is what D and I will start working together. The first day I went to work, I just carried cement bags or sandbags, or I also carried spare wood. In fact, this kind of work was very tired, which made me a little overwhelmed. I really wanted to escape home, I wanted to leave and went back, but I was penniless and didn’t know how to go home. In order to prevent me from escaping home, D tried every means to make my parents not give me money before coming, but now I understand that I have already regretted it. I sighed deeply and said: Hi! Helpless! Helpless! Really helpless! I really feel that I have been cheated, and there is a mute who is impatient to eat yellow Lotus. On the first day, I was very tired, and my legs were drawn, which made my spirit very tired. On the morning of the next day, I didn’t want to get up any more. It was D who woke me up from my dream and urged me to go to work. I got up in a daze and went to work in a daze, on the way to work, the two feet were rising and rising at the same time, which seemed a little insensitive. I can’t lift my spirits at all. It seemed that I was going to collapse, and I disappeared in this world immediately. I was very afraid that such boring days would repeat the increasing number of times. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. 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