2012. Departure. Drifting

Fruitful achievements and year. Snowflakes are fluttering, thank God for his love. Every year when I go to Beijing, I see me off in the way of snow. The hazy weather aggravated the weight of the heart. A person carried his numb feet and walked slowly. Only himself knew how heavy the pace was. People always ask, is it alone? I smile, um, often alone. I am used to it. Yes, from studying to working, I have been used to being alone for too long. Is it not that I am not afraid of loneliness, but that when loneliness is unavoidable, one begins to learn to bear, grow up, mature, happy and sad? Only you know the bitterness during the journey. I. About love, we experienced too little noise in the waiting room. There were middle-aged men eating instant noodles, young women eating melon seeds, women coaxing their daughters to sleep, on chairs, there are people everywhere in the corridor. Some of them are talking, some are playing mobile phones, and some are reading books in a daze. Everyone has his own expression and world. While I took out all the clothes in my bag. The coat was used to wrap my legs, the scarf was put on the seat, and the sweater was put on the backrest, so as to relieve the cold outside and expel the cold in my heart. At this time, only the feet are a little cold. The thread once said that someone would help carry the bag if he wore beautiful clothes, but he didn’t know the thread. No matter how beautiful he wore, no one could warm his feet. My mother said that I am was neither high nor low, and I didn’t deny that I was indeed a self-preached woman, but as time went by, I was also a common man who gradually approached the secular world. I am ordinary, arrogant, humble and persistent. I just pray for the stability of the world in the faded years. There is not much youth for me to squander. Except cherishing what I have now, I dare not pursue too many unreal dreams. Those fairy tales are still there, but they will not belong to me, I knew it by myself, so sometimes I lost my mind for the rest of my life. For blind dates, they were considered ridiculous at first, but later they didn’t take it seriously, and then they accepted them frankly. I have never thought about what kind of person I want to find. I just know that I must be able to resonate spiritually. I don’t want him to understand me. I just hope he can trust and understand me and take care of me, that’s all, that’s all. I don’t want to spend too much time and energy on teaching people how to love and what to take care of. I have no patience to teach people these, but in this cold season, the separate stations, I need these warmth. Even a brief greeting. After all, I don’t want much, do you understand? Sometimes I am not satisfied, so I pursue it, but I am never greedy. I don’t believe in falling in love at first sight but expect to fall in love at first sight; I don’t want to invest too much but with good intentions; I would rather live forever than live forever alone. If you don’t believe in fate, all fate has human factors. As for love, you only hope to meet an ordinary person, and it will be good to have love for a long time. II. About friendship, what I did was not good enough. I remember Lao Song said a long time ago that my friend was a quilt. Although it could not warm up, it could keep warm. I always remember this sentence because I agree with it. Although there are only a few friends, they can make friends. There are also some friends who lost when walking. Although they lost the news, they have been thinking about it all the time. In a bad mood that day, there happened to be a friend calling him, so he reprimanded him without any cover and took him as an air vent. Who let you call at this time should be unlucky. The man over there just answered, sometimes silent. He was deeply sad at the moment he hung up the phone. He didn’t owe me. Why did he lose his temper to others? His heart was broken for a moment, if you have such friends, please remember to cherish them. I remember that day I proudly said that I didn’t know which idiot charged me 50 yuan for the interlaced phone bill. Later I thought carefully that there was indeed such a stupid worm, because I took a casual word seriously. She said why she didn’t reply to the text message. I said sending a message was more expensive than calling me. She didn’t reply! Who knows she took it seriously, ha ha, how stupid! With a smile, tears burst out. I felt inexplicably moved by having such a friend, and at the same time, I felt sad for my heartlessness. There are still some people who do not mention her in the diary or occasionally, but whenever they encounter something, they will always think of her and want to tell her and listen to her ideas. But the older we grow, the more lonely we are. We still care about and miss each other, but we all care about each other. It’s not that we don’t say anything, but we don’t know where to start, who should I tell those things that I can’t tell my family to strangers? I want to share with you, but I can’t open my mouth. I really don’t know where to pour out, so I can only watch your return date, see you go far away, and then deeply bless you. Those worries will continue to be buried deep in my heart and fermented in time. Third, about family affection, I am too self-centered and always think that my sister is a child, a pure and kind child. When I bought clothes in the supermarket that day, I paid the bill in front of the counter. At that time, many people were around the counter, and my sister and Le were waiting nearby. I heard a familiar voice saying who lost the money? I saw a woman next to me picked it up hurriedly, seeing that the expression was not like her money. Then my sister said, “Look at which of you lost your money, and another person next to me who was waiting to pay the money said, see if it’s ours. A total of 800 yuan. Check it. The woman with her checked, ah, it’s ours. Later, when we got home, we talked about this. My brother said, “Look at you. If you pick it up and invite me to eat hamburgers, I will also say a few thanks to you, they don’t even say thank you, and they don’t even know that you shouted. My sister said: I don’t know. Forget it. When I saw the money, I was not jealous at all, and I didn’t want to take it for myself. I just wanted to find out who lost the money. I smiled. Although it was a trivial matter, my sister’s personality had never changed, which was what I was delighted and also what I was afraid. My younger sister likes to eat sugar-coated haws, but I laugh at her. She likes to eat sugar-coated haws when she is so big. If she doesn’t buy it for her, she will not be happy. She will also drink spicy soup and hot dry noodles. I hate her, I don’t know how to be considerate and always play tricks on trifles, but it is these that show that she is still young and just a playful child. However, I just hope that she will grow up quickly and know more about tolerance and human relations. Sometimes I am really wrong, too self-righteous and too self-centered. She may only miss the carefree time in her childhood when eating sugar-coated haws, just like the appearance of sugar-coated haws and the song. Maybe she just wanted to remember some flavor of her hometown when she ate fried noodles with Hu spicy soup. What she ate was not those two things, but a kind of emotion, which was hard to give up deep in her heart. That day, when she left, I cried. I was really reluctant …… in fact, most of the time I was too strict with them and required too much. As an elder sister, I should learn tolerance and understanding. I only hope that whether it is 2012 or more distant days, she can be pure, kind and happy. Wish her happy! Tonight, the Starlight is still bright. Many sporadic moods have not been written down. Let’s just leave a copy in the bottom of my heart. If you come, I will tell you. 2012, I hope all relatives and friends can be healthy and happy! In order to continue drifting in the unknown future, you can’t understand my heart.

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