Past and Future

Time stops at this moment, the clock is broken, and the dream comes true. Thinking is just a temporary painkiller. As time goes by, there will be endless pain. Every athlete is like this, and I am also exercising, on the starting line of life, the pain is still going on. Why should I stop? I won’t end it, because I can’t let go or forget, holding back the bleeding wound and continuing the bitter life, I have never thought of comparing with others, because I have been lonely all the time. I have no friends and never experienced happiness. Maybe deep pain can anesthesia my heart, but I don’t understand, the pain in the past was that I was depressed and committed suicide. The pain now makes me strong and go to destruction. It is also painful, and I am more eager for the former. In those years when I was young and busy, at a young age, Or because of my stupidity, I was once trapped in depression, which was my past. But now, it is also painful, but no longer depressed. Who is depressed, when I was in primary school, many classmates laughed at me for being stupid. I was almost numb to the last despair. I thought it was over, but at the last moment of my life, a miracle appeared and my illness got better inexplicably. Since then, I have learned to be strong and no longer shed tears like when I was a child, I don’t know how it was done, but it was done unconsciously. Thank God. In fact, according to my thoughts at that time, I was still dead. Until now, I still don’t understand. But after a few years, I found that I was wrong again, and that kind of childhood pain appeared again. Are these two kinds of pains the same? I can’t say, just feel a little strange. Or talk about future, The future is beautiful in my eyes, it is the occurrence of all good things, sweet, I can wait, lost beauty, I think, it is better to make the future worse, but I dare not. I am afraid that I will fall into reincarnation like the past. I expect to leave this country one day. This idea has emerged in my mind many times. In this way, I continue, there seems to be a feeling of desperation. I really don’t understand what is waiting for me in the future. I think it is to live happily every day without quarreling with myself or sulking with others, do not regret things all day long. These are all my requirements for the future. Anyway, there will be a long time in the future. Maybe I can fly to the other end of the Earth, but in fact it is not much different from this end. I think there is always a standard for what a happy life is. I can’t understand even if I smile with my teeth. Maybe few people look in the mirror when they smile, at least I don’t have this habit. In the future, I will certainly be more mature than now. Time has changed my view and judgment on things, When a person is mature, he is naturally more stable than when he was young. I am looking forward to maturity and hope it can be seen quickly. I really don’t know how far the future is. What kind of vision does mature people look at the world and what values they pursue, what’s the difference between his life goal and ordinary people. I don’t dare to speculate, but I want to feel whether the so-called maturity is to break through all the psychological bottom lines and shape a different self, I know too little. What kind of color will the future be? Colorful rainbow, different people choose different colors, some make people happy, some make people fretful, some make people happy, some make people numb, different, really, the Olympic Games is coming. Is there a hint of light green on the rainbow of seven colors, giving out vigorous vitality, which makes me remember that I am still alive

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