Acid

At this moment, I don’t know what I will think. As for this word, I just feel a mysterious power pulling my emotions, from quiet to melancholy. I think, I am poisoned child, Xiao Mo said that I was poisoned by words, but I didn’t know it, and I still looked like I was pleased with this kind of poison. I just can’t help myself, and I don’t want to be simple and happy. After talking with Mu Yi last night, I felt uncomfortable in my stomach. It’s always like this these days. Thinking too much about something always makes me feel the feedback of physical protest, it is to cover my trauma with another kind of pain. As a result, food is tasteless, walking like walking meat, I am lost something, and these may not belong to me originally, I just expect to have it so much, so, this huge fall was like falling from the clouds to the bottom of the sea, which was a great sadness. Therefore, I was like an old toy abandoned on the roadside, more like a lamb trapped in a lost path. I lost my recall of the past and also my desire for the future. I played with the mobile phone in my hand silently, and opened the photo album habitually. Then, I smiled habitually, and then my smile stopped. On that roadside, on that winter afternoon, at the moment when the cold wind passed across the field over my shoulder. Tears can no longer simply express sadness. I closed the photo album, opened it again, and closed it again. I stayed at that roadside for a long time, because I didn’t think where should I go next moment? The back that disappeared in the wind never appeared, nor did it turn back. Maybe I turned back, but I didn’t see it, but these were no longer important. Yes, it’s all over, isn’t it? I just haven’t reacted yet. As I said, I am like a dull snail, and I can’t keep up with the pace of the world. It’s okay, I will take good care of myself, I can think of it, and I won’t do anything stupid. A heavy truck drove the Earth to tremble and rumble, passing by me, and the raised dust permeated my side. Fortunately, the wind blew again, and the dust was blown away, and the surroundings were clear and clear, although I felt cold with the breath of winter, I didn’t feel too cold. Maybe it was cooler in my heart. Some words are much more comfortable than stuffy in my heart. Even though the result was so disappointedly or regretful, that afternoon, the winter wind brushed across the fields and my shoulders in the soft sunshine. Looking through the autumn water with my tears. Your back is also the silhouette in my memory. In the vague sight, it becomes the shallow song of last season. Someone passed by on this country road, glancing at me, wondering why I stopped and sat alone. I don’t know how long the time has passed, twenty minutes, half an hour, maybe more. I didn’t go to see it, and I don’t want to know these meaningless time. I finally stepped on the return journey wearily, and the exhaustion in my heart was a sign of extreme tension. The wind roared past my ears, and the wind that could not cover my glasses dropped my tears. I thought the wind was still cold after all, the tears at the corner of my eyes became cold before they could fall down, and then dried up in the wind. I want to say that it is the wind that blows my tears out, not because I am sad. Because, I can still laugh, talk happily, and think of something to talk with friends without gloomy mood. Second, recently, when I was reading Lijiang story, I just started to read it, so I don’t know what to say. People say Lijiang is a place suitable for brokenhearted people to stay and to bask in the sun, reading, having sex and dreaming. I have never been there, so there is no way to talk about it. But I want to go, and I really want to feel the feelings there by myself. This is not to say that I have been brokenhearted, or I want to encounter an affair, I am only interested in the place that many literati have written. Xiaoyu is now in Tibet. When chatting a few days ago, she said, “I want to go to Tibet. If there is a chance, I will definitely go there. Xiao Yu is said, Come on, let’s go to Lijiang when I have a holiday. Although I couldn’t go there now, I was really happy for several days. Just one sentence made me happy. I am a child who is easy to be happy. A friend said this to me. It is too easy to be satisfied but sometimes it is too swayed by gain and loss. What I said is very contradictory. I know that I am a very contradictory person, entangled in reality and dreams. We often cannot clearly understand what kind of person we are. After all, I am a child. This is sister warm’s opinion for a long time. When I was a freshman, I began to write some words on the Internet, and I just wrote some trivial words in Tencent blog space. I would like to say that those days that have been abandoned still have youth. After three years, I have met more friends on the Internet, those friends with the same dream, I have been silently beating those feelings that only myself can experience on the Internet. This road is bound to be a little far away and needs some luck. In short, it is bumpy and happy. I read their happiness in the words of friends. Maybe, the words are sad or melancholy, that’s because they have a sensitive and fragile heart. There is always a pure and sincere face behind the words, which makes it hard for you to imagine that those words are from their hands. Such a huge power was contained in that thin body. Waves and tsunami surged in the words. Sometimes, just a greeting will get a kind return, a sweet smile, or a long miss. It is because of the simplicity and straightness of characters. But I am not brave. Maybe I can write down those missing words without scruple. But it is hard to speak out those words in my words. Maybe, I am used to writing but not used to speaking out. This also leads to the unsociability and loneliness of character. I think we are poisoned. Xiao Mo asked me with such certainty which text was poisoned by me. I didn’t say that, because, we are all poisoned. In fact, there is no difference between saying and not saying, so I just don’t say it. Third, I don’t need to explain more about the word on the topic. I also don’t want to write this word in the text below the title. If there is no reason, I don’t want to explain it. If you have to say something, then I can only say that you will know. I don’t know whether there will be anyone who can understand the chaos and contradiction when I finish writing these words. I also beat the keyboard in disorder in this contradiction. I felt that I was not too lonely by making noises casually in this lonely room. After all, there were these words accompanying my thoughts and never leaving, fly to a very far place as I imagined. When I think of the figures that come and go through this period of time, it is also mixed with different moods and emotions. Encounter and separation are always indispensable in the words, and you will still come into view during this period of time. The words or figures of friends, the unexpected departure will always cause inexplicable melancholy. Fortunately, some return or never go far away. As for those misaligned conjectures, you can resolve all misunderstandings without a smile. It’s not that I don’t care, but that I don’t want to let those so-called explanations become ravines on the road. Let’s listen to the wind and sing low songs all the way, isn’t it better? Or the figure I once faced suddenly came to my mind after I didn’t know how many years passed. It was the interlacing of guilt and missing, and the smile was as familiar as before. Simple greetings and light words are just like whispers in my ears. However, as time goes by, we will never go back to the past. Therefore, the gloom accumulated in the past will no longer exist at this moment, and the frost and snow deposited in the old year are also melting and drying. Therefore, the feeling of haze in my heart at first spread slowly when those words were listed on the screen. I don’t know why my friends think of such a word, but what I think about this word at this moment is the trace I left above. The loss mixed in the heart, or the mood that is hard to calm down, those melancholy that grows in the face of difficulties alone, let that word be taken away. I don’t want to think whether 2012 will be the end of the world. I just know that the Spring Festival is coming, so I will break my past and expect the future in a new state before the spring comes.

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